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Current Events Sportsball

Tom Brady’s Supermodel Ditz-Wife Holocausts their Marriage over him Playing Football as a Senior Citizen

TMZ:

Tom Brady? Touchdown Tom Brady?

The sex symbol of White Supremacy gets done like this. I’m sorry Tom, I truly am.

But then again, after reading about this I learned that Tom Brady left his now ex-ex-wife, Bridget Moynahan, while she was three months pregnant with their one and only child together. 

Not knowing the details I could excuse this as Touchdown Tom Brady being smitten with a Hollywood actress with a personality nowhere near as beautiful as her looks. It’s easy to see how a sexy young man, Tom Brady in this case, gets blown away by a woman whose job is to literally pretend to be someone that she’s not, and is gorgeous to boot. Then reality sets in, and he gets a nasty case of buyers remorse.

I looked up everyone’s date of birth and found out that Bridget Moynahan is six years older than Tom Brady. That’s rarely an age discrepancy that’s going to work long term. In contrast, Gisele Bundchen is three years younger than Mr. Brady. Up until now we see the story of a young man who made a mistake, learned from it, and goes on to marry the right girl.

But fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. Brady’s divorce tells us everything we need to know about “the right girl.” Frankly, Gisele Bundchen has never come across as anything other than a vapid supermodel with nothing to offer but her pussy. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but every single piece of media I have ever seen her in has done nothing but confirm that for me over and over again.

Take this video for example. I’ve started it at the appropriate time.

As for how everyone is holding up, the 42 year old [Gisele] has been working with her spiritual healer to stay in a place of piece.

Tom Brady recently retired, and then unretired two months later. There were rumours at the time that Gisele Bundchen was Big Mad about this, but I try to stay away from that garbage. Now that it’s blown over into Tom Brady, arguably one of the sexiest men alive, getting divorced, I have a few thoughts I’d like to share.

First and foremost, never get blinded by good looking pussy. Now we can go too far in the other direction. If your potential wife doesn’t get your dick hard, then she’s not the one for you. But if she does, then it’s time to focus on more important factors in the relationship, like whether she loves Hitler a small amount, or with all her heart. Find the level of Hitler Love that you want out of a woman, and then move on to step two.

More seriously, in the long run the most important factor in how well two people get together in such an intimate relationship is the shared level of intellect. Tom Brady is clearly an intelligent man. Gisele Bundchen, not so much.

– Gisele Bundchen

The above quote is from this video, and it’s just about one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen. I get that English is her second language, but come on now. This is the kind of message that a particularly stupid women sends. Frankly, you can’t just be dumb, you have to be dumb and oblivious, which indicates to me that she’s surrounded by Yes Men who constantly tell her how great she is, which sounds absolutely intolerable.

If I had a wife and she sent something like this out I would honestly laugh because I thought she did it as a joke. It would not occur to me to marry a woman who would send this type of message out in earnest, because I want someone who doesn’t make me want to kill myself when they talk to me. And that’s what you’ll spend the majority of your time doing with your significant other, talking. 

I’m sure Touchdown Tom Brady was grinning ear to ear the first few times he slammed into that gash. Hell I would even now, when she’s 42 years old. Back when she was in her early twenties she was positively delectable.

I know that the photography and makeup can make these women look more beautiful than they truly are, but oh my goodness. She even has freckles.

Imagine waking up and seeing her in your garden. Looks like a scene from heaven.

And that face. My goodness that face. We know that the world of modeling is fake and controlled, and I’ve found many of the models to be not particularly attractive, but I can’t pretend not to find Gisele Bundchen the purest definition of a stunner.

This is actually my favourite picture of her. Her eyes are cast downwards and it gives her an air of introspection. The more I look at the picture, the more it seems that her eyes will look up and lock with mine. Then she’ll open her mouth, and do you know what she’ll say?

Probably something stupid, and that’s what you’d have to actually live through day by agonizing day. Trust me buddy, that gash is gonna look worse and worse by the hour if you’ve got to deal with this vapid ditz practicing witchcraft to help you win games. No, that’s not something random I made up, that really happened.

But since he was still passionate about competing, Gisele found a way to get involved in his job as well. Tom told CBS that Gisele used a form of witchcraft to help him win some of his championship games, including in 2019.

Ahead of the Patriots matchup against the Seattle Seahawks, Gisele gave him healing and protection stones and a necklace. She also gave him some kind of liquid to consume. But it gets even wilder. Tom said Gisele set up an altar at the game. Yes, at the game. We can only assume Gisele was doing some kind of chants in her box seats. 

Whatever they were doing worked out. Gisele told Tom “you’re lucky you married a witch.” 

I don’t think she’s actually crazy, just really stupid. Well maybe a bit crazy on top of that. Either way, she’s got the mind of a fun weekend, not a wife.

Hell of a weekend though.

And now, because he stupidly married the kind of girl that you cheat on your wife with, the Sex Symbol of the White Race needs to go and find a new mommy for his three children, again. If he overcompensates and marries an Asian I’m going to lose it.

Categories
e-drama

NJP Exposed: Johnny Monoxide Schizos up a Storm on Obese Lagoon Creatures Killstream with help of Seething E-Hobbit

I never actually watched Paranormies. Dipshits who want to claim that dinosaurs aren’t real, the Earth is flat, the moon landing isn’t real, and every celebrity is secretly a tranny, don’t really captivate my imagination like they do for others. I’d like to say that we can all agree to enjoy our own content, but in this case I’m judging everyone who ever watched these people. If you like this kind of content then you’re a retard.

I was informed that these guys think that pretty much everyone who is famous is a tranny. This includes 6’4 NFL Quarterback Tom Brady. How crafty of these jews to turn the sex symbol of Aryan Supremacy into a monument to perversion.

Terry Bradshaw used the Alias “Tom Brady,” in 1983 when he was admitted to a hospital. And Jew sex pest Anthony Weiner used the alias “Carlos Danger,” when he was sexting his circumcised rod to plenty of Goy women. What this means is that Anthony Weiner and Tom Brady are the same person, and that person is Rosie O’Donnel.

Every time we look at this – complete reality break down.

That’s a quote from the video in the post I screencapped above. I clicked around for some sounds bites and it’s pure schizo all the way. I could probably find some better stuff if I bothered watching more than 10 seconds, but imagine doing that instead of something actually productive?

Apparently White People making rapid technological progress is something that is unthinkable to the people whose jobs revolve around uncritically repeating schizo conspiracy theories all day long. 

Ball Earth is one of the biggest lies ever told. – Johnny Monoxide

I really don’t think that this deserves critique, so I’m not going to waste my time. I tried finding posts that were only paranormies specific, where they weren’t reposting other schizo channels, and I got the above. But just like NJP guys repost each other, along with myself and Keith Woods type ancillary characters when important, the Paranormies are constantly reposting the schizo freaks of telegram.

These guys are such retards that I can just repost the videos that they post and it’s instantly satire. In fact here’s me doing that exact thing with one of the videos they posted on telegram.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/5AJk9crd_Nw

My only real introduction to paranormies before this was seeing a clip of them while I was on Rand’s show. Johnny Monoxide tweeted out after Christchurch something to the effect of “I have literally no actual information on this event, but I guarantee you it wasn’t real.” 

Sven saw this when they were recording TRS and broke his keyboard in frustration. I don’t really blame him. If you’re trying to do actual politics these schizos can’t be associated with you. And they are in fact no longer associated with TRS, which leads us to our current e-drama.

Apparently Johnny Monoxide posted an audio clip of him claiming that Eric Striker force fed his son a steak at a diner and did cocaine with Mike Enoch at a children’s birthday party. Let’s check the veracity of those claims by perusing the Paranormies telegram channel a bit more.

Okay so Erik Striker does cocaine at children’s birthday parties and 5G is a secret Globalist plan to monitor the population.

Mike Enoch also does cocaine at children’s birthday parties, along with Striker, and Chris Matthews is the cross dressing head of Pfizer.

Mike Enoch is a jew, and free energy is real and Big Energy doesn’t want you to know.

There’s a synagogue a couple miles away from Sven’s house. This means that he’s a jew, and also Gisele Bundchen and all the Victoria Secret models are actually male to female trannies.

Striker has secretly admitted to being half jew and contrails are real but dinosaurs are fake.

TRS gets all their money from seed oils and also… honestly I don’t even know what I’m looking at here. Is he trying to say that Brett Kavanaugh and his accuser are actually the same person? This is too retarded for me to even make fun of. Get back to flat earth posting you fucking schizo.

Well anyway he went onto Ethan Ralph’s “Killstream.” If you don’t know who that guy is, I’ve written about him here, here, here, and here. He’s difficult to describe in words, so here’s a picture.

If you only had a mid section shot you would have no idea if the Ralphamale was moving towards or away from you.

And he’s also every single negative personality trait all rolled up into one snack sized landwhale. 

So how did the livestream show go? Well apparently not so well, judging by the live thread that Frosche made on Poast. Johnny rehashed some schizo attacks on TRS, and then we get to this.

Hold on a second. What kind of tiny little dweeb would be important enough in the e-World to just randomly call in to the Ralphamale’s show and bore everybody to death? I’m thinking Nick Fuentes, but this Frosche guy would probably know who that is. I’m stumped, who could this possibly be?

Oh, lol. This guy.

Make sure to check out my series on this queer if you haven’t already. This Frosche guy may have already read that series, since he makes a point I’ve made constantly.

Anyone who has been exposed to the biological failure known as Andrew Anglin knows full well what a slimy little weasel creature he is. Apparently this was on full display, and the little gaffer was calling TRS a communist revolutionary group that is funded by seed oil companies to get people to take vaccines and vote for Joe Biden.

Male to Female tranny Emma Watson

The entire livestream was ten hours long. When I asked the autists of Poast what happened the first response was the following.

Apparently it devolved into Ethan Ralph begging Randbot go on the stream. That never happened, so Johnny Monoxide got tired of the whole thing and left.

Well that was it, the complete destruction of TRS. It’s over, and you need to go back to the Catboi Cult, you goddamn Dooginist seed oil salesmen.

Categories
Sportsball

Sex Symbol of Aryan Supremacy Unretires from the Negro Felon League

Well he’s officially done it. Tom Brady has retired. As of February 1st he announced his retirement, and that’s it for –

JK. The 45 year old Official GOAT is coming back to get more brain damage. He’s decided that having 300+lbs men hit him as hard as they can for 22 years in a row, plus college, just wasn’t the kind of quality of life destroying CTE that he signed up for. For Fear of Missing Out he’s come back for yet another chance at crippling lifelong spinal injuries, back problems, and serious brain trauma.

Then again, Tom Brady must be getting some of those virgin goy-blood extractions that Mike Pompeo was getting. The guy appears to be entirely ageless, with more vigour at 45 than I have, turning 30 two days ago. That’s an exaggeration, but only by a touch. The guy appears to have found the fountain of youth and then, in a plot twist, simply used that to play football at a high level without sharing it with anyone else.

I was going to write another fake interview with Brady, like I did with Rams WR Cooper Kupp, but if I’m being honest I admire Brady too much for that. The guy is just simply amazing. Sex Symbol of Aryan Supremacy is supposed to be a joke, but it’s not even that far off. 

Look I know it’s sportsball, but Brady transcends football. I am also aware that is a completely faggotty thing to say, but it’s true and I stand by it.

And besides, he has a hot wife. Who might have also found the anti-aging secret by the looks of things, because she remains a smokeshow in her 40’s.

Categories
Sportsball

Sex Symbol of Aryan Supremacy Hangs up Cleats for Good

NFL:

The greatest to ever do it has officially called it a career.

Tom Brady is retiring. The quarterback announced his decision via Instagram on Tuesday.

“I’ve done a lot of reflecting the past week and have asked myself difficult questions,” Brady wrote in part of his lengthy message. “And I am so proud of what [the White Race] has achieved. My [White] teammates, coaches, fellow competitors, and fans deserve 100% of me, but right now, it’s best I leave the field of play to the next generation of dedicated and committed athletes. There are simply too many Unsportsmanlike-Americans in this sport and it’s ruing it for me. I hate having to touch the ball with my bare hands after these apes have left their sweat on it. Disgusting.

Ten superbowls visited, seven won. 35 playoff wins to only 12 losses. The most regular season games won at Tom “Hate-y” Brady truly had nothing left to prove. He will now have to console himself with banging his supermodel wife until he inevitably gets some cushy sinecure.

Brady’s run was unprecedented in the modern era. A sixth-round pick — 199th overall — in the 2000 NFL Draft, Brady never arrived to the NFL with any serious buzz. Madden NFL 2001 didn’t even insert his name for his video game avatar, just leaving him as “QB No. 12.” Brady only received a legitimate chance to play because Drew Bledsoe suffered an injury during a game against the Jets in 2001.

Tom Brady, as a sixth round draft pick, is proof that it doesn’t matter where you start, only where you end up. All you need is hard work. Well that and also being 6’4, having tremendous arm talent, and only falling in the draft due to random factors out of your control. But who couldn’t root for the plucky underdog who managed to snag the supermodel only because he works really hard, has a great story, and also looks like a male model only hotter. Truly Tom Brady is proof that anyone who applies themselves can win 7 superbowls and marry some top 0.0001% gash.

Who wouldn’t be inspired by Tom Brady heroically benefitting from a bunch of blue collar guys getting serious brain damage trying to block for him. Only to get his weirdly high pitched voice screaming at them and the refs because someone dared touch the prince.

Well maybe we shouldn’t be too down on Touchdown Tom. He has after all agreed to an exclusive interview with the Daily Rake.

Categories
Sportsball

Unsportsmanlike-American Clarifies Temper Tantrum with Extremely Plausible Assertion

A few days ago I wrote about one Antonio Brown, an NFL wide receiver who had the temper tantrum to end all temper tantrums. He, on a top seeded NFL team that won the superbowl last year, spazzed out, and quit the game in the third quarter. Nobody had any idea why he did it, and the most plausible explanation was that he was throwing a temper tantrum over not getting the ball enough.

They had already thrown to him 5 times that game, with him catching 3 for 26 yards at the half.

It was all a bit mystifying to me, but today he released a statement through his lawyer. Screencaps below, and I’ll transcribe only the funniest and most absurd bits.


Transcript:

First they cut me. Now they cage me. Instead of asking how I felt or getting to the bottom of it, the team texted my camp promoting a totally false narrative that I randomly acted out without any explanation. They even told us in writing “don’t spin this” any other way. I have stress, I have things I need to work on. But the worst part of this has been the Bucs repeated effort to portray this as a random outburst. They are telling people that first I walked off, then I was cut. No. No. No. I was cut first and then I went home. They threw me out like an animal and I refused to wear their brand on my body, so I took my jersey off.

I’m starting to think that this retard actually wrote his own letter. Probably he got someone else to write it, but he insisted that they write “No. No. No.” I can just imagine this UNSPORTSMANLIKE-AMERICAN demanding his jew agent write that nonsense to make sure everyone knows how wronged this wounded, caged animal really was. Go off kang.

What they did not know until now is that on Monday morning I had an urgent MRI on my ankle. It shows broken bone fragments stuck in my ankle, the ligament torn from the bone, and cartilage loss, which are beyond painful. You can see the bone bulging from the outside.

He doesn’t provide the MRI. In fact he doesn’t provide any evidence at all that this happens, and this guy has a history that’s so bad many people think he has an undisclosed mentall illness. Beyond that we can see him doing jumping jacks and running off the field below, and he played multiple games with this injury.

https://youtu.be/Iw2kTP7oMgU?t=42

I highly doubt the Bucs didn’t MRI his ankle constantly when he was with them. They appear to doubt his story as well, since they just cut him hours ago.

I’m not trying to write about the NFL, I just can’t ignore this stuff.