Emma Watson has Lifeforce Drained by Harvey Weinstein and the Rabbis of Hollywood

Those of us who have been following the Daily Rake for a while know that we are the world’s number one Emma Watson fan club. Emma has sat down with us for an exclusive interview before, but she’s usually too busy curbstomping “Ungrateful-Americans” to death as a Grand Wizardette of the KKK to provide us with any real commentary. She did denounce the NJP for being too cucky for her, but I’m sure she’ll eventually come around.

Usually I hate commenting on a wahmen’s appearance. If it were up to me I’d be cuddling all the lovely ladies of the earth. As far as I’m concerned, if a woman simply takes care of her body, and has a sweet, pleasant personality, then she’s cute enough to fall in love with.

Having said that, Emma Watson was actually my very first celebrity crush. She’s a year older than me, and I first saw her during the Harry Potter movies when I think I was just 10 years old. I didn’t know what to do with her, but I knew that I wanted her.

It seems weird now to think about it. I mean I wasn’t sexually attracted to her when I was a child, so don’t take it like that. I just knew that she was pretty and I liked her.

Although I have to say, she grew into quite the stunning wahmen.

Oh sure, she might have had some plastic surgery here and there, but she’s just about the worlds greatest example of puberty going right.

Which I have to admit, she appears to share with the rest of that Potter movie cast.

Okay she went through a bit of a feminist phaze, but she snapped right out of it.

I mean oh my god Emma. 

Oh my god Emma please.

Verdict: Sit on my face mommy.

What an absolute babe. She may go by AryanSlaughterDemon1488 on twitter, but she couldn’t slaughter my boner if she –

WHAT. THE. FUCK. AM. I. LOOKING. AT?

Surely this must be some sort of bad lighting. Or maybe it’s a stunt double. There’s no way our precious –

What sort of deadly magic is this?

She looks like she’s aged 35 years in the past few months. Like she’s 31 going on 59. She literally looks like those late 60’s Hollywood starlets who can’t quite give up and move on. Like where they still kind of look good, but you’re not sexually attracted to them. There must be some sort of subtle visual cues that cause you to recognize them as being good looking, but not prime breeding age cunny anymore.

Feminists be like “I can’t spot the difference.”

She looks like a trash mob in Skyrim.

Credit to Teutonicus for this one.

Also, just to get back to that previous picture for a second.

Is there anyone in the entire world who actually knows who the broad on the right is? This girl must be the posterchild for One and Done in the acting world. It doesn’t matter how much she ruins her face with plastic surgery, she’s still Ginny Weasley and will be until she dies.

She used to look so… not even hot, downright JUICY. I mean the girl was just a delectable piece of ass. And to top that off with an English accent?

I mean come on Emma, give us a chance.

She reminds me of Selena Gomez, where she went from Prime Breeding Cunny to looking like a lower priority pornstar. Where she went from a face that looked cute and young to one that looked like it came with a warranty.

I’m not even sure I can look at nu-Watson. Give me hot jailbait Watson back pls.

That’s better.

How did this happen? It can’t just be age, I mean she’s only 31. Was it meth? Was it something else?

As I was writing this piece, I got an urgent email from KillAllJewsAndNiggers1488@protonmail.com. The byline was “Help Me Obi-Wan Shekelstein,” and I initially thought it was spam. However, upon opening up the email, I was treated to this.

Shekelstein,

Since our last correspondence, wherein I confessed my undying love and appreciation for your handsome figure, I have been captured and tortured by the Schlomos of Hollywood. They tied me up to the wheel of Zion and, in ancient Hollywood tradition, they sucked out my life force and stored it in the tip jar. That’s the jar where all the circumsized foreskins in America go, if you didn’t know.

I managed to escape by overpowering my jew oppressors. It wasn’t that hard. There’s a reason there hasn’t been a professional jew athlete in the past 4,000 years. Anyway, I ran to the BAFTA awards, absolutely positively sure that my withered, husked appearance would cause an international investigation.

To my great dismay, I was treated with a chorus of “you go girl,” and other trite claptrap. Desperate, I managed to heist my way up on stage, wherein I delivered the line “I’m here for all the witches.” I was convinced that this would draw attention to my dried out appearance. After all, I currently look like one of the re-animated dead villains from the Harry Potter series, or maybe even something from Netflix’s adaptation of The Witcher.

And then the audience started clapping. I couldn’t understand at first, but it appears that they mistook my line for support for disgusting chicks with dicks. I have been trying to come across as a idiotic airhead for years, so as to better infiltrate the (((Privileged Class))). I fear I may have worn the disguise too well. As a result, my used up appearance and lines about witches are too congruous with my public persona of being an aging feminist.

Help me Obi Wan Shekelnobi, you’re my only hope. Tell the readers of the DailyRake to get the word out. There needs to be an international criminal investigation into the Eternal Jew, and what he’s done to me. And not just me, but millions of other goyim throughout the millenia. Think of all the WesterChildren who could be saved from this cruel fate of not being hot anymore by the age of 31. Think of them. And think of the love we shared that one night. That night of passion, when our lips met.

And for that brief moment, there truly was magic in the universe.

Tears spring to my eyes. That our dearest Aryan Warrior Emma Watson would, with her face and body so ruined, still be thinking about all the Aryan Children who are most in need. That she would think not of getting justice for herself, but all of AryanKind… what can I say? Truly, she is the Adolf we’ve been waiting for.

Don’t think of her how she looks now. Think of her back when she was young and beautiful. Her lifeforce may have been permanently drained, but we can still get #justiceForEmma.