Soyboy Comes up with One Weird Trick to Stop Bad Man Putin, Dildo Production

UPDATE 23/12/25: Perun’s argument is even more ridiculous in hindsight. Russia massively outproduces NATO in the “basics”, such as production of artillery shells, proven loitering munitions, glide bomb materials. What NATO has in spades is the “bling,” like everything Anduril produces that fails catastrophically upon first contact with the enemy, or even light testing. 

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I’ve had Google trying to shove some video down my throat for the past month. It’s this one by some guy named “Perun,” and the video is entitled “All Bling, no Basics – Why Ukraine has embarrassed the Russian Military.” 

The video was from March 5th, and he’s apparently assuming that the Russian Military has been “embarrassed.” The evidence for this is that some T-80’s, possibly abandoned, have been destroyed.

Look, I really enjoyed making fun of these Reddit Dilation Brigade types. These are the kinds of people who believe that Russia is not just losing, but being “embarrassed,” despite them having captured multiple Ukrainian cities in the Donbas. Let’s take a look at the current map, shall we?

Well this is from about two weeks ago now. It’s almost impossible to find updated maps from any of the WMD Liars, but I did find map from yesterday on Southfront.

As you can see, Russia now holds most of the land that they were trying to seize in the beginning, and are mopping up the resistence they’re experiencing in cities like Mariupol. It’s a slow process, but a sure one.

And let’s not forget the 40 mile convoy that Russia had that went largely unmolested by aircraft, missiles, artillery, or good old fashioned infantry attacks. This was played up by the Epstein Killed Himself Liars as Russia somehow losing, when in reality it simply showed how in control of the situation they were. After all, if Ukraine had a 40 mile convoy of trucks backed up, they would be getting obliterated by the Russian Military.

I don’t know how much “Ukrainian” territory is now controlled by Russia, but I’d estimate it at something like a fifth. Since Ukraine has an area of about 630,000 km^2, I’ll say that’s at least 100,000 km^2 that is controlled by Russia. This apparently means that not only are they losing, but they are being embarrassed.

I’ve gotten some fair criticism from people in our thing for covering this, but the delusion is just too strong to ignore. These are the types of people who think that the Ghost of Kiev is actually real. Or who think that it’s a good idea to join the Reddit Tranny Brigade. Or who think that sanctions on Russia were set to cause Russia to collapse. Or who think that Zelensky is secretly winning.

And besides, I agree that Putin isn’t our Goy. But I don’t agree that he isn’t vastly preferable to Zelensky, NATO, and our actual direct oppressors. I don’t think that, and neither does George Soros and the rest.

So I know that it’s Movement Mondays, but I kind of had to respond to this garbage, because it’s too annoying and delusional to ignore. Transcript below.

Well here’s a video I never thought I’d be making and never wanted to be making. Because this is a channel that talks about video games. I don’t talk about serious stuff most of the time.

It’s not an exaggeration when I say this is the kind of military analysis that you get from a soyboy who gets so assmad at Vladimir the Badimir that he puts down his nintendo switch and feels the need to do some retarded propaganda thinly veiled as military analysis. 

He notes that he’s not going to be talking about military strategy, which doesn’t actually make any sense. I think what he meant to say was that he wouldn’t be talking about military tactics, because literally all he does is talk about military strategy, just erroneously.

While it may sound like a lowblow, I need to point out that he has an incredibly annoying, overly moist voice. I can tell that he records with the mic practically inside of his mouth and it’s absolutely disgusting.

I might come back to those two videos later, but for now I wanted to focus in on another video of his, “The Price of War – Can Russia afford a long conflict?,” because it shows such a hilarious amount of Not Getting It combined with The Cult Of GDP.

The video starts off with him doing one of the most hilarious military LARPs I have ever heard of. He claims that Russia won’t be able to procure any oil and natural gas from the Donbas. His argument is, and I swear to god I’m not strawmanning this, there will be tons of Ukrainian partisans in those areas. And natural gas explodes. Therefore all of those natural gas well sites are going to be exploding constantly and that’s not very safe.

It’s an argument so stupid that I might have to write an entire article on just that two minute section of the video, but we’ll move on. After that he goes into some copes about how the Ruble completely recovering is totally a mirage bro, just trust me.

But where it gets really funny is when he starts bloviating about “muh GDP.” His argument is that Canada has a bigger GDP than Russia, which enables Canada to outspend Russia in dollar amounts, therefore we can sustain a long term war better than the nuclear superpower.

The soyboy is actually right about Canada, but for all the wrong reasons. Canada is the world’s fourth largest oil producer, and the second largest uranium producer. We also have an abundance of pretty much every mineral needed for the production of military hardware, such as iron, copper, and titanium. We’ve got all the ability to produce electricity that we’ll need, and huge amounts of open space for factories, food production, and what have you. And of course, an intelligent, “First World” population, where by First World I mean White or Asian. So it’s not like this is wasted on retards.

There is no military reason why Canada shouldn’t have a dominant military, somewhere around the fourth largest and most powerful in the entire world, or at least large enough to prevent any invasion by America. The reason that Canada has such a pathetic military is purely for political reasons. It was decided in the 1950’s, by the Conservatives I might add, that Canada would become a vassal of the US. This was best exemplified by the cancellation and then destruction of the Avro Arrow.

Now, you may have noticed that I focused on the actual things that matter to the military. The fuel, the minerals, the open land, the intelligent population. These are the things that actually limit the size of the military. So of course Perun totally ignores that and pretends that Canada can have a bigger military than Russia because Canada has a higher nominal GDP.

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His argument also takes GDP at face value, when GDP adjusted for purchasing power parity (PPP) is a more realistic representation of the economic power of different countries. Russia has the ninth highest GDP in the world, with Canada just a smidge behind at tenth. Yet when adjusting for PPP we find that Russia has the fourth largest economy in the world, and Canada is 16th, with about a third of the production.

Here’s a tangible example of why this doesn’t just feel correct, but is correct. 

The New Voice Of Ukraine:

Moscow plans to produce or refurbish 4.5 million rounds of ammunition by the end of this year. In contrast, the United States and European countries are expected to produce only 1.3 million shells combined.

The cost of producing a 155-mm shell, commonly used by NATO countries, is approximately $4,000 per unit. In comparison, the cost to produce a Russian 152-mm shell is only about $1,000 per unit.

Russia produces four times more artillery shells than the entirety of NATO, yet, because the NATO shells cost 4x more, both contribute the exact same to GDP. If you are a soldier, does the $1k Russian shell have any less impact on your body than the $4k NATO shell? No, because an apple produced in Russia that costs $1 is the same as an apple produced in America that costs $4, and an artillery shell produced in Russia that costs $1k is the same as an artillery shell produced in America that costs $4k. 

So you could compare Russian artillery production with NATO’s artillery production, and conclude that, as “proven” through GDP, they are identical. Or you could compare artillery production, and conclude that Russia has four times the amount of artillery shells. One of these frames of analysis is real, and one of them is a meme for midwits who understand neither the military nor economics. I’ll leave it to the reader to decide which is which.

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If you’re feeling slightly confused here, I don’t blame you. I’ll explain just how idiotic his analysis is in a second.

After explicitly making the argument that the US can have a bigger military than Russia because they have more dollars, he then throws in this caveat.

Now I accept that it’s not that simple. You can’t just suddenly ramp your GDP on defense expenditure up to these levels. But my point is to illustrate that this is not a fair contest. In order to – just by stretching to what is a peacetime mobilization level by historical standards, NATO extends Russia soooo far beyond the bounds of what it is capable of doing. Of what it is capable of realizing, that eventually it’s gonna outmuscle it in an economic contest.

There’s this little hint of almost-understanding in his little soybrain. Like, he gets that maybe you can’t just immediately convert video game software directly into a tank. But if you just have the money that World of Warcraft makes, you can use that to make another aircraft carrier in the long term. Because, you know, you’ve got the money for that.

I’m going to include one more quote before I tackle this retarded argument. 

There’s a lot of ways to look at the health of the economy and how much it has to give in a crisis. How much you can safely pull out of it, extract from it, in order to fuel something like a war effort.

 

The first time I heard this analysis was on South Park.

Perun appears to believe there exists this actual physical object called the economy, and stuff comes from it. It’s like he’s a child who saw candy come out of a pinata, and now he thinks that The Economy is the pinata of the adult world. Just a thing that stuff comes from.

I need to give you one more quote from him, just to make absolute sure that you realize I’m not strawmanning him.

NATO economic capacity is not just about its size. It’s about how easy it is to mobilize. Uh, how much fat you have in your budget.

Let’s just consider this as a concept for a second. Let’s say you have a huge agrarian nation. A huge, subsistence agrarian nation with a trillion inhabitants. You can have the largest GDP in the world, but that entire GDP would be occupied just on the task of keeping your people alive. Just basic agricultural production, some housing, the absolute basics.

You wouldn’t be able to turn that economic capacity into a large army, or foreign aid to another country, there’s no fat in your budget.

The difference with being more developed and wealthier nations, which, most of the NATO nations fall into that category, is that they have fat in their economic capacity that they can direct to things like this conflict. Many of the nations in NATO, they fall short of the 2% spending goal on defense, which is considered a bare minimum. They’ve signed up to it, they don’t hit that level. If you just take those nations and increase that budget to 2%, and I’m basing this on NATOs own disclosed figures BTW, that earns you about $84 billion extra dollars, mostly from Germany and Canada.

Now that’s not a bad start considering A: that’s more than Russia’s military budget, and B: Ukraine’s entire government budget is something like $48B dollars. 

 

Well there you go, Goy. Other NATO members can just increase their military spending by a little bit and voila, now they’ve got militaries that are collectively way bigger than Russia’s and are therefore better.

It’s like this guy thinks that Starcraft is real life. Like everything is made from minerals. And therefore, instead of using your minerals to make dildos at the dildo factory, you just use your minerals to make tanks instead. QED

 

Unfortunately for NATO, money is a medium of exchange. The fact that fighter jets and dildos can both be priced in dollars doesn’t mean you can just use dollars to get either. That may work in the civilian world, but empires need to actually have the raw material. Which reminds me of that ridiculous New York Times article where they opined that Russia was entirely unimportant to the world economy, except for the oil and food. Which are, you know, only the two most important things for every economy. Meanwhile, Western Europe has been so desperate for fuel that they sanctioned Russia, but kept on buying their oil and natural gas anyway.

 

As I’ve said before, if Italy makes Ferraris that cost one million per, and Russia sells them just $10k in oil for the energy to manufacture them, on paper it looks like Italy has this amazing economy. But if they don’t get the fuel, they can’t make the stuff, for the same reason that, no matter how rich you are, if you’re stranded in the middle of the ocean you can’t buy food and fresh water.

Here’s a Mig-29. It’s a big fat fighter plane with two big fat engines that guzzle a big fat amount of fuel. Not to rehash my all (serious) militaries are limited by fuel article, but let’s blitz through this again. The average jet fighter consumes 20,000 lbs of fuel per mission, which lasts less than an hour in the combat area. Even if you’re Canada, and have the world’s fourth largest oil production, at about a billion pounds of fuel per day after refining, that works out to just 50,000 sorties per day for your entire fleet, if every drop of fuel is used just by jet fighters. Using more realistic numbers and you’re looking at somewhere between 500-5,000. 

If you’re thinking to yourself “hmmm, that doesn’t sound like much,” you’re right. It’s almost like oil is this like, really precious natural resource that militaries care about for actual reasons. It’s almost like that, because it is that.

The amount of digital copies of World of Warcraft that Canada “produces,” does not magically allow us to have more fuel. There is no WoW->fuel conversion process. The same goes for the dildo production. There is no dildo->fuel conversion.

And if you’re thinking that you can sell the dildos to other countries in exchange for oil, that simply changes the size of the alliance, not the underlying problem, and doesn’t take into account the economical limitations on transporting enourmouse quantities of fuel. NATO countries have a limited amount of fuel, which is why Western Europe buys oil from Russia directly through a pipe. These are physical resources. They exist in physical locations. And Russia has them.

It’s Even Dumber Than That

Not only does the military not care about GDP, at least in a serious war, they would do things that are actively harmful to GDP. For example, how much of our precious fuel is used up, all things considered, by the dildo manufacturing process?

Imagine Canada specialized in dildo production, as by far our number one industry. Think about all the civilians who get in their cars and go to work at the dildo factories. Think about the logistical vehicles that all need fuel to transport the dildos to the dildo-consumer, domestically and internationally, plus the fuel consumed in the dildo manufacturing process. Now understand that if we can just confiscate twenty million pounds of fuel consumed in this process per day, we get another thousand sorties of F-18’s. 

The military has a choice. They can let shut down dildo production, and get 1,000 more F-18 flights per day, or distribute these benefits throughout the entire military, or they can continue the dildo production, so that they have a lot of dildos to not sell, because our ports are all blocked by Weimerica. Truly they face a monumentally difficult decision, no?

If any serious war broke out this is exactly what would happen. The military has no use for dildos. Well the US military has suicide pods and dilation stations, but I mean a serious military. It makes sense for them to shut down dildo production, and send those people to go and live on government created sites and literally do nothing all day. This protects them from city bombing, but also causes them to consume less fuel. Even better, we now have surplus manual labourers that we can potentially use, even if just as shovelers digging fortifications for our infantry.

If we imagine that 95% of our GDP was dildo production, then this would be horrible for GDP, yet it would be great for the military. According to Perun, GDP can be converted to military, so having more GDP == having more military. Except that’s not how it works. We need oil, refineries, and logistical vehicles, not OnlyFans subscriptions and sports gambling. Perun doesn’t get it because he’s a moron.

If you think that 95% of GDP being dildo production is a strawman, just understand that all non-military related production is dildos as far as the military is concerned. Subscriptions to OnlyFans can’t be converted to tanks, even though both are priced in dollars. One million dollars of makeup can’t be converted into one million dollars worth of fuel that we need to operate our fighter planes.

Do soldiers shoot GDP, or do they shoot bullets? Do jet fighters run on GDP, or do they run on fuel? Do we need GDP to manufacture the landing gear for our fighters, or do we need titanium alloys? Do our submarines propel themselves on GDP power, purchasing power, or nuclear power? Do our manufacturing plants need GDP, or physical area, electricity, various raw minerals, and manpower?

Perun’s midwit analysis is so ridiculously stupid that it makes me angry. His analysis argues that, with just slight cuts to our dildo production, our military could easily surpass a country with the largest nuclear stockpile in the world, almost a million infantry, a blue water navy, and about 1,600 jet fighters. And not only can we manifest this military into existence, we can also keep it running, not with fuel, which Western Europe needs Russia to provide even in peacetime, but with love, friendship, kindness, and above all else, GDP.

It somehow gets even dumber than that, since this NPC blathers on about how Vladimir being a big meanie will lead to less immigration into Russia. That might sound like a good thing, but Perun points out that you don’t have to pay for the immigrants early life and education, therefore they’re a massive economic benefit. In reality, immigrants are net tax consumers, but I ignored that to see where his argument went.

And of course, it ended with him arguing that the imaginary economic benefit of migrants in dollars means more military. Because the physical schools that teach children, the teachers, the online curriculum, all of that costs money. And that means that we can just convert those specific resources into more fuel for our fighter planes.

What the fuck even is this analysis?

I’m going to revisit my Starcraft analogy earlier. In actual Starcraft there are two resources, minerals and gas. But let’s imagine there was a third resource, dildos. So dildos do a lot for your GDP, but they don’t actually let you make any units. So there is no actual point in harvesting them, from the perspective of the military, and any SCVs that you make and then send to harvest them are, at best, completely and utterly wasted.

That’s basically what this guy is saying when he bloviates about GDP.