Love Letters 2: Outreach Chimp Selects Daily Rake to win their Coveted “Most Eager to Holocaust” Award

Does everyone remember the saga with the Latvian Outreach Coordinator named Isabel? She never wrote back to me, so I assume she died a very tasteful and romantic death trying to sail across the ocean to find me. May she rest in peace.

Artist’s interpretation

Luckily, the site is not wanting for outreach coordinators, as on Monday I received this very important email.

Secure high-quality backlinks?!

Manual blogger outreach!?

I hope Mr. Agrawal knows that I don’t have bobs n’ vagene to pay for all of this. If he expects to put me on the casting couch for this service, he will be sorely disappointed.

I must say your passion to cover “all the news that needs to be covered” is truly inspiring! 🙂

I think it’s hilarious when they put a bit of effort into reading the site. That’s from the About Page. And this is what the homepage looked like on the day he sent that email. 

And this is what it looks like as of time of writing.

Needs more swastikas, but I’m still quite proud. 

I considered saying nothing, but it’s April Fools today, and I don’t have any content. Besides, how can one pass up high-quality secure backlinks with manual blogger outreach? Below is the full response. 

To my Eternal Saviour, 

—-

Today I found myself reminiscing upon my younger days. Back when I was more naive, more impulsive. Back in the beforetime, when I had not yet received your email. When I had been confined to a lonely existence wondering, hoping, dreaming, of a time when Outreach Chimp would knock on my e-door, offering me secure, high-quality backlinks through manual blogger outreach.

—-

The past is a different country. The past me, a different man. On Sunday I was a heartbroken and despondent creature. On Monday I was reborn. Free again to live with hope and a belief in future prosperity that was not simply a dream, not simply a myth, not simply a shadow of a reflection upon the walls of a cave, but a reality. 

—-

It was with some trepidation that I respond to your lifeline. Have I truly done enough to deserve manual blogger outreach? I believe so, but that will be for the history books to write. All I know is that I say yes. I say yes with all my heart. I say yes not knowing where this journey will take us, but knowing on some deep, primordial level, that even if this journey is our last together, the real high-quality backlinks are the friends we make along the way.

—-

I extend my hand to yours. Let our e-fingers brush upon each other, let the spark of creation ignite, let the spice – in the form of manual blogger outreach – flow, and let it never end.

—-

With all my heart,

—-

Timothy Coish

When you’re talking to the co-founder, you put your best foot forward. I believe I have done exactly that.

I’m actually half curious to see where this goes.