National Post:

A Canadian Forces bombardier who handed out cannabis-laced cupcakes to fellow soldiers from a military canteen during a live-fire drill endangered her comrades and betrayed their trust, a panel of appeal judges said.

I’m sorry, what?

Chelsea Cogswell’s covert distribution of spiked cupcakes that made soldiers high while training with artillery — “an instrument of death and destruction” — was a danger to all 150 troops at the large-scale training exercise in 2018, an appeal court said in its reasons for judgment published Friday.

I’m sorry, what?

One stoned soldier was driving soldiers to an airstrip when he felt “mind-altering symptoms” and nearly crashed into another vehicle.

Another soldier felt “spaced out” and walked around staring at trees instead of guarding access to a field where artillery rounds would be exploding. A colleague fell asleep in the back of a truck, court heard.

At the gunline, a soldier was smoking while trying to play a ukulele, and another was improperly loading artillery shells. Others variously said they had unquenchable thirst, felt paranoid, nauseous, belligerent, or sluggish. Other soldiers arrived with their artillery gun giggling away.

They soon realized something was wrong and they found they had each eaten a free cupcake handed out by Cogswell from the mobile field canteen.

Let’s see if we can find a picture of this Cogswell.

Yes she is in fact precisely how I imagined her.

Cogswell and another soldier were assigned to run a canteen offering supplies to soldiers in the field. It moved about selling drinks, food and snacks.

Cogswell baked chocolate flavoured cupcakes with chocolate frosting topped with a jellybean at home and brought them to base in a Tupperware container. She offered them for free to soldiers at the canteen, court heard.

This could go one of two ways. First, Chelsea could be the kind of person who was fun as a teenager, but is incredibly annoying as a thirty something and downright toxic as someone on a military base currently undergoing live artillery fire training. Second, Chelsea could be a manipulative and nasty character who actually wanted people to get hurt by this.

Court heard that during police interviews, Cogswell “indicated animosity toward her unit,” but she denied purposely drugging her comrades.

That statement says “wicked and deceitful,” but the image above says “I like to party.” I suppose it’s possible that Chelsea was hated by the Chads on base because she didn’t fit in by virtue of being a thirty five year old teenager that no one liked. In any case, she spent thirty days in jail for doing something illegal that could have resulted in people dying.

What can I say, Canada is not a serious country.

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3 Comments

  1. A fun teenager? Nope. She looks crazy. And malicious. A FAT. I usually don’t criticize people for their appearance, unless they are kikes or niggers – but was the creature that fat when she was a soldier? Geezuz tap dancing Kee-rist. Canada’s worse off than Murka.

  2. I can’t be the only one who thinks that this wahmen’s crime would be a firing squad offense in a serious country with a serious military.

    Right?

  3. T H I C C

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