If it were the plot to a novel, it’d be dismissed as excessively unrealistic, but Rep.-elect George Santos appears to have made up a personal biography that really is almost entirely fictional. The New York Times broke this story in brutal fashion this week, noting that the incoming Republican congressman appears to have lied about his educational background, his private-sector experience, and even his non-profit experience.
Uh, and also the fact that he’s not gay, Jew or immigrant. That… seems to be a bit more important than him also lying about his educational history.
And yes, I know this is a story from a week ago, and it was covered by everyone at the time. But there’s been an update, and I have something to say about it.
The Republican’s campaign website specifically told voters, “George’s grandparents fled Jewish persecution in Ukraine, settled in Belgium, and again fled persecution during WWII.” The Forward’s research suggests this, like so many of Santos’ other claims, isn’t true.
What’s more, while Santos described himself during the campaign as a “Latino Jew,” The Forward’s article added, “[I]t appears Santos is not Jewish — and lied about his family fleeing persecution during the war.”
But this isn’t the only new set of questions the incoming congressman is facing. Santos this year also became the first openly gay Republican to win a House seat as a non-incumbent. It’s against this backdrop that The Daily Beast reported this morning on Santos’ previously unacknowledged Sept. 2019 divorce from a woman:
I heard the TRS guys chirping him on multiple shows, but now, having seen his face, I can see how he passed as gay. Frankly, the longer I look at him, the more uncertain I am that he is truly a closeted heterosexual.
Long Island Rep.-elect George Santos came clean to The Post on Monday, admitting that he lied on the campaign trail about his education and work experience — but insisting that the controversy won’t deter him from serving out his two-year term in Congress.
What about being the gay Jew immigrant though?
He has to at least have tried something perverted at some point with a face like that.
Santos’ professional biography was called into question earlier this month after the New York Times reported that he misrepresented a number of claims, including where he attended college and his alleged employment history with high-profile Wall Street firms.
“My sins here are embellishing my resume. I’m sorry,” Santos said Monday.
Santos confessed he had “never worked directly” for Goldman Sachs and Citigroup, chalking that fib up to a “poor choice of words.”
The 34-year-old now claims instead that a company called Link Bridge, where he worked as a vice president, did business with both of the financial giants.
He also admitted that he never graduated from any college, despite previously claiming to have received a degree from Baruch in 2010.
His lying about his work experience was almost as ridiculous, since he was claiming to have worked for Goldman Sachs and other very well known finance corporations that are just down the street from the New York Times. Even if not, it’s just a telephone call away for them, and the same is true for any college, whether it is located in New York or not.
“I never claimed to be Jewish,” Santos said. “I am Catholic. Because I learned my maternal family had a Jewish background I said I was ‘Jew-ish.’”
I am confused at the stupidity. I am not confused that he would pretend to be Jew. Nor am I surprised he would pretend to be homo, although the jury is still out on whether he was really pretending. I guess with the context of him lying about his educational and work history you could argue that it’s a slam dunk. If he’s lying about all of that, and hiding his previous marriage to a woman, then he must be straight.
But then again, the above creature, Sam Brinton, was caught on camera stealing women’s clothes at an airport for no reason. A lot of these homos have weird compulsive criminal behaviour, so him lying about everything is also consistent with him being extremely hungry for anus. The jury is still out.
The soon-to-be lawmaker confirmed to The Post on Monday that he was indeed married to a woman for about five years, from 2012 until his divorce in 2017, but insisted that he is now a happily married gay man.
Happily married to… a woman?
This article won’t tell us. So we’ve got to break out the big guns.
In the meantime, though, we did find at least some partial corroboration for a murky part of his life story: His marriage.
George Santos does have a husband, sources say, or at least a partner.
Why is this so hard to figure out? This should be a matter of public record.
“I’ve known his husband for several years and have interacted with him on a few social occasions and at political events,” Charles Moran, president of the Log Cabin Republicans, told Semafor. “That said, the current story is about George, not his spouse, so I don’t really know why any of this is relevant.
Santos did not respond to a text message from Semafor asking whether his marriage was officially registered in any state.
It’s all coming together. He is a fag, and he really loves penis in his anus, or maybe the other way around. He and the rest of the Log Cabin Republicans all know each other, and each other’s anuses. That’s why he doesn’t have an official “husband.” It’s more like a steady anus that he’s seeing most days.
That’s my theory at least. I can see him having a fake marriage to a woman while being in denial and finally saying “fuck it” and heading on down to the Log Cabin Republicans where he can be his true Latinx gay self. The narrative I’m seeing is that he’s pretending to be gay in order to fit in better with the Republicans. This would be damning enough, since they’ve made it clear how disappointed they are with his ambiguous heterosexuality.
But ultimately it’s more damning for Republicans if he really is gay. Because it shows that you do in fact need to suck the dick in order to “infiltrate” the Republican Party. You can’t just pretend to suck the dick, you really need to do it. And ultimately, you need to be a Jew who works for Goldman Sachs if you want to really shoot up to the upper echelons of the Gay Old Party.