A few days ago an absolute Queen posted a video on TikTok. She was complaining about the “Seasoning Police.”
You know the Seasoning Police, right? The people who can’t shut up during the movies. The ones with afros who twerk all the time. The people who Soros prosecutors try to get out of jail. The ones with gold teeth and chains. I don’t know how to make this more clear.
Seasoning Police are just 13% of the American population, but commit 50% of the crimes.
They’re the opposite of the Hardworking-Americans who live in the suburbs and enjoy tanning salons and play hockey.
I saw the video at the time, and considered writing about it. I’m working on a different project right now, so I just didn’t have the time, and the story wasn’t quite good enough as is. The memes were fun though.
It didn’t hurt that it is one of the sassiest videos I have ever watched.
And good for redpilling the normies, if you’re into that kind of thing.
We all know who she’s talking about. Just in case you didn’t, the Seasoning-Americans have decided to lodge a formal complaint.
TikTok jokes about creators not seasoning their food are common, with the #seasonings garnering more than 687 million views.
Barrie is now facing criticism, as some users believe the term “seasoning police” was a euphemism for Black people.
“I just don’t know who the seasoning police are,” said @loammiririchardson. “I’m curious who is because the only people that I know season their food don’t look like her. …I don’t know. Seasoning police sounds a little racist.”
Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the most unseasoned of all?
And which ones specifically are taking swipes at our Queen, Zoe Barrie?
Shelah Marie, a real ghetto Seasoning-American if you ask me.
Shelah “Season” Marie:
So interesting. The things that piqued my interest so much was her tone. And the phrase “the seasoning police.” The tone was so condescending and angry. I’ve just never seen someone so angry about seasonings.
Who’s the seasoning police, bae? Say the quiet part out loud.
Yasssssss queeennnnn. Slayyyyyy queeennnnnnnnn.
A comment by one “ajs90” above references the “wash your chicken police.” This becomes relevant sooner than anyone with an IQ over 90 could possibly have predicted, because lots of Seasoning-Americans put up some videos OWNING Whyte Peepol about not using… detergent to clean dem chickenz.
Yes, this is all real. They be washin’ dem chickenz with dat liquid detergent.
It’s not a fake. It’s not a one-off. Niggaz be
gay washing chicken with hand soap.
I only needed a few screenshots, but I couldn’t stop myself from getting more. They are literally washing their chicken with liquid soap.
I know you can see this, and don’t need me to tell you. I guess I just can’t stop myself from repeating what I am seeing.
Especially because the TikTok clip where the above screencap comes from is accompanied by this sage wisdom.
If you don’t put no dish soap on your chicken when you’re cleaning it then what ah you doin? You gotta get inTO it with dat chekin gotta get inTO it pereeyod. You gotta get it inTO it with dat chicken. You’ve gotta rub on look at me rubbing it on it. Rub, rub, rub yes ma’am periodz. Gotta get inTO it.
The confidence with which they professed their moronic advice made me temporarily second guess myself. Could it be I who is in error? Could there be something to the use of liquid detergent on the chicken? Is there something for People of Blackness to teach us?
In 2019, the CDC said “absofuckin-lutely not,” to all the above. As we might have expected, this was controversial amongst Detergent-Americans.
On April 26, the nation’s leading health protection agency sparked a viral debate when it tweeted: “Don’t wash your raw chicken! Washing can spread germs from the chicken to other food or utensils in the kitchen.”
Jaime, do we have a picture of Mr. Jernard Wells?
That’s nice, but can we zoom in on Jenard?
It is very much not an age-old question as to whether or not one should use liquid detergents that Whyte Peepol invented just a few decades ago on your chicken. You should not be washing your chicken with soap. You should not be washing your chicken at all, and I never do unless it falls on the floor or something like that.
If you do wash your chicken, then you must clean your sink afterwards because the chicken bits will have contaminated your sink. You don’t have to wash out your oven because, and this is going to blow the mind of the SeasoningPolice-Americans, the oven holocausts the bacteria.
Those clips that I edited together were found in a twatter thread by “jny the human”. In there we also see this gem.
“Whyte Peeepoll don’t season y’all’s food,” has been one of the weirdest, yet most common anti-White attacks from the SeasoningPolice-Americans for some time now. Turns out their One Weird Trick to delicious cuisine is putting liquid detergent on their chickenz before each meal. I wonder what our queen thinks about that?
I doubt she’s impressed.
For some reason she reminds me of another piece I wrote a while back. Can’t think of why though…
Luckily, Female Hitler has remained on TikTok for now, and continues making real cooking content for the masses, with not one whiff of Walmart spice rubs or the baffling sight of liquid detergent on chicken.