It’s been a while since we wrote about /OurDitz/ Emma Watson. After she vowed to destroy Israel early in 2022, she sat down with us here at the Daily Rake, before having her lifeforce drained by the Harvey Weinstein’s of Hollywood. She’s back in the news again, as she cleverly continues pretending to be a dumb whore just to further ensconce herself deep within the Democracy Class.
This is 33. Holy moly. Before 29 I hadn’t even heard of a Saturn Return as a concept. Let’s just say that now I am well acquainted. 😅🪦⚰️🧟♀️☄️🪐🪂💥💣🌋
Emma told me personally that she thought she would have her cover blown. After all, no one can be such a ditz that they use ten emoticons in a row. She told me that she was chuckling as she wrote that, sure she had given herself away.
It didn’t help that she made mention of “a Saturn Return.” I had no idea what that was, but apparently it’s a reference to some idiotic horoscope thing. It’s even dumber than I thought.
In horoscopic astrology, a Saturn return is an astrological transit that occurs when the planet Saturn returns to the same ecliptic longitude that it occupied at the moment of a person’s birth. While the planet may not first reach the exact location until the person is 29 or 30 years old, the influence of the Saturn return is considered to start in the person’s late twenties, notably the age of 27.
I asked Emma to elaborate, but she just told me she had vaguely heard of it and “it sounded like something a retarded starlet would say.” Excellent work, Emma. You’re really keeping the act believable.
The rest of her intentionally moronic instagram post will be transcribed below. Don’t bother reading it, just know that Emma Watson definitely did this as a joke.
I stepped away from my life – I learned to surf (badly),🏄♀️ I rode some horses (🏇that went better), I did a lot of therapy (YESS 💪😍 therapy!). My brother and I joined forces @renaisspirits. I adopted Sofia in Mexico, who seems to be an angel not a dog 👼. We filmed a Harry Potter reunion⚡️. I said goodbye to my Grandma and Grandpa. I retraced my steps. I started a women’s environmental investment fund 📈. I played Pickleball with @sugarrayleonard and I even played golf and then tried to make all of my girlfriends learn too. I cut my thumb nail off on both hands trying to cook for myself and then was only able to do things one handed for months 🙈🔪👩🍳👋. I felt really sad and really pissed off about a lot of things. I learned more about love and being a woman (💃❤️ ). It took me three years but I have finally figured out a daily practice and can actually keep it for more than a few days in a row. I burned some things down 🏙🔥🧯 . I eat green things now 🌱 ! I got obsessed with making Squarespace websites. I directed my first commercial 🎥.These pictures were actually taken on my birthday last year, but I wasn’t ready to come out of my Covid Cocoon.
The new pictures are undeniably sexy, in a classy way.
A distinct improvement on her look after the Weinstein’s drained her life force.
I thought this was a return to form, but these pics are a year old. To me, it doesn’t matter. I will love my dear Emma no matter how much she looks like a Witcher monster. It’s her commitment to the White Race that makes her truly sexy, in my eyes.
Today I feel 🦋🦋🦋🦋Thank you to the witches in my coven who were so pivotal in helping me arrive at where and who I am now. ❤️🧙♀️,🌻,🧜🏽♀️, 🥷, 🦌,👁, 🌸, 🦉,🏜,🥋and 🌹. You are my Avengers and you inspire me and kick ass. It takes a village, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. And lastly – thank you to my brother @alex.s.watson for helping me find the most challenging things, with time, incredibly funny. Thank you @jessicaediehl – I’m obsessed with you. 😂
Thank you to the incredible – @thea.beauty_ @macksfilms @storyslaughter @lomyring @majormoonn
Thank you to @pradabeauty @prada #MiucciaPrada #RafSimons #pradabeauty #pradaparadoxe #pradafragrances #partner
I haven’t seen our beloved Emma “Total Nigger Death” Watson in many moons. I have only had sporadic conversation with her. She’s a mercurial figure, jotting in and out of my life as she sees fit. Always committed to the bit of being a Hollywood ditz with no ability to think for herself. That she has managed to keep it going this long is an amazing testament to her personal intellect and cleverness.
If Emma is reading this, I urge her to ignore the haters. Those nasty gremlins who say that she’s just a pretty face whose career is now over because she looks like a trash mob from Skyrim.
In truth, it is likely that Hollywood has decided to move on from Emma, because she’s not pretty enough to get the roles of her dreams anymore. From their perspective she is little more than a 33 year old childless woman, long since past her prime. If she weren’t /OurGirl/ that would probably make her angry and bitter.
But there’s no need for that, as she will always be welcomed with both arms into our community. She, formerly known as AryanSlaughterDemon1488 on twatter, will always be the girl who got redpilled by watching “Greatest Story Never Told.” She has simply been biding her time to redpill the normies, for well over a decade at this point. Any day now, she’ll cast aside the dumb ditz routine and unleash the spirit of Female Hitler on these heebs. Anyyyyyy minute.