In part 1 of this series, which you can read here, we concluded that Sam “shoot up a high school or die tryin” Hyde had somewhere around a 50-50 chance against Hasan Piker. He challenged Piker to a $1 million prize boxing match, and with a new video upped the ante to $2.5 million. 

I said the match was 50-50, because while Hyde is a normally coordinated, and extremely large human, let’s be honest the guy does not exactly inspire confidence in his cardio and training discipline. 

Beyond that Piker isn’t tiny, and who knows what kind of gear he’s on. However, I had no idea he was such an unathletic queer. In the video below I’ve started it at around 1:27, and we actually get to see Piker doing bagwork. It’s hilarious. I’ve spent some time in the gym, and I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a guy hit a bag with less coordination than Hasan Piker. 

I’ve started the above video from the right time. It’s not like this guy is even gassed out at the gym, he’s not even sweating. He hit the bag like he’s trying to push it with his fist. It’s like I’m watching some robot trying to imitate human movement. His arm is ahead of his body. Dude, you’re supposed to rotate your hips first, and then follow through with your arm. It’s actually difficult for a normal person to hit the bag like that because it’s so unnatural.

Comments have the right idea, and I’m starting to actually get hyped. Imagine trying to justify to someone why you’re turning down a $2.5 million purse against a legendary alt-right figure. I know that UFC and boxing contrived fight trash talk is annoying and ghey, but I’m actually getting excited for this. What’s the purse for the loser, $500,000.00? The fuck is this turkroach even saying to pretend he isn’t ducking the 6’4 Aryan Ubermensch Samuel “Adolf” Hyde?

Bring it on I’m fucking pumped.

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  1. Sam’s actually pretty muscular probably not shredded or has good cardio but he’s got a good 50lbs on hassan and a good bit taller too.

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