An article from the old Hyphen Report. Good times while it lasted.


Recently an extremely sexy lady left some comments on our telegram account. Her name is Justina Paul, and she’s quite the beauty.

I could fall in love looking into her eyes right now. And she’s such a superfan that she left a comment under all five of our latest articles.

Hyphen-Pajeet wrote back to my waifu expressing his interest in a different item in their catalogue. The beautiful Justina Paul responded.

We thought that might be the end of it, but then I thought to myself “you have to take every chance at love you can get.” I decided to, as the Pick Up Artist’s say “run a little game on this bitty”. Mission most definitely accomplished.

I was crushed when she stopped responding to me almost, but not quite immediately.

In all seriousness, I was absolutely sure that this was a bot, until it responded with “i’m not mocking you…”. That would take a lot of specific programming, which makes me think there actually was someone on the other line.

When I messaged Elizabeth Wilson, or rather the account named that, there was most definitely someone on the other line.

At this point I was sure my cover was blown. I hadn’t received a response for almost 15 minutes. And then, out of nowhere, Liz pulls through.

Great thing that I took a screenshot of this conversation when I did, because next thing I know both Elizabeth Wilson and Justina Paul banned me on telegram, and the conversations disappeared. Or maybe both accounts got simultaneously deleted for spam.

Anyway, that’s what happens when you engage with the spammers on telegram. Reminds me of when I and a friend were in the GhostEzra chat, and we started pretending to believe in flat earth and got some “rational,” fags to just start exploding with rage at “you idiots.”

Its not 2015 twitter, but there’s fun to be had on telegram.

You may also like

1 Comment

  1. Pretending to be a flat earther is a really great way to expose fellow wrongthinkers who are just too high strung. “Pretending.”

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

More in Satire