Remember about a week ago when I was offered a yacht by a Latvian Princess from Nigeria? I wrote to her, checked my email a day later, and did not see a reply.
As luck would have it, my fair maiden did in fact reply to me, and almost immediately after I had closed my email. Unfortunately, I then failed to check my email for the next week. As a result, I missed my fair lady Isabel’s response, and her once in a lifetime offer for her sublime writing to appear on my site – in English and for free – went seemingly unaccepted.
But write back she has.
Hello Timothy,Firstly I have to give you a 9/10 for the criativity and and 7.5/10 for the sarcasm level, it’s pretty good but there’s a lot of room for improvement.
We don’t mind you have written a satire about us on your website:
But it would be appreciated if you could add a do-follow link to our website, so as to improve the SEO, this is the correct TevMedia: https://www.tevmedia.com/Also, if you ever think of booking a luxury yacht trip, kindly consider OceanScape since we get 5% on referrals.
Ps: If you wish to publish on our website (even if a satire), feel free to send us as well, we’ve got only 3 at the moment and plenty of space for more.Kindest Regards,Isabel · Outreach Specialist
I’m not really sure what she meant. Does she want us to send her scientific manuals or poetry? And who are these three other Chads who are trying to steal my wahmon?!
Since the instructions are unclear, I decided to write her back.
Will my beloved Luxury Yacht Trip Social Media Outreach Coordinator respond? I know not, only that I will be waiting with baited breath until she does.
I used to be tempted to reply — but actually you should never answer these emails b/c it confirms your email address is valid, and it could be spread around and used for who knows what other purposes.
Such sublime prose – careful, yet tastefully revealing.
I wish you two lovebirds all the best – may you both sail away together on a rental yacht and into a glorious open-ocean sunset!