Apparently it’s the Oscars tonight, and just about an hour ago Will Smith randomly ran up on the stage and slapped Chris Rock.

HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA – MARCH 27: (L-R) Chris Rock and Will Smith are seen onstage during the 94th Annual Academy Awards at Dolby Theatre on March 27, 2022 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Neilson Barnard/Getty Images)

BTW, check out that caption. LMAO. “Are seen onstage.” Yes, that’s definitely the way I would describe this image.

Vanity Fair:

At Sunday night’s Oscar ceremony, Will Smith shocked the room by approaching the stage and slapping presenter Chris Rock in the face after the comedian made a joke about Smith’s wife, actor Jada Pinkett Smith. 

Rock was on the Oscar stage presenting the category for best documentary. He began by making a few jokes about the audience members, including Pinkett Smith, referring to her as “G.I. Jane” due to her closely cropped hair. (Pinkett Smith has spoken in the past about her battle with alopecia.) Shortly after Rock made the joke, Smith walked to the stage and slapped him across the face. He then returned to his seat and shouted, “Keep my wife’s name out of your fucking mouth.”

You might think this was staged, but Will Smith was legitimately butthurt that Chris Rock made a joke about Smith’s wife, Jada Pinkett, and her illness induced hair loss. You can watch the entire cringe-worthy moment here.

I honestly thought that this had to be fake, right? I mean, how could Will Smith be so unhinged that he would walk up to Chris Rock onstage and slap him? And then do some “take my wife’s name outta your bitch mouth nigga,” trash talk?

Yeah it’s a real mystery. Crank out the skull measurements. Somehow, it gets better.

And not just because he struggled to hold in the tears after he slapped Chris Rock.

Vanity Fair:

After the slap seen around the world, the Fresh Prince was anointed King. Will Smith was crowned the victor in the best-actor race, taking home the trophy for his performance as Richard Williams—father and tennis coach to tennis phenoms Serena and Venus Williams—in the biopic King Richard.

Earlier in the evening, Will Smith shocked audiences within and outside of the Dolby Theatre by storming the stage to slap presenter Chris Rock in the face after Rock made a joke about Smith’s wife, actor Jada Pinkett Smith. In a tearful speech, Smith subtly referenced the slap, opening with, “Richard Williams was a fierce defender of his family.”

You thought this title was clickbait. You thought that I lied, that I exaggerated. No Will Smith literally goes up on stage impromptu, slaps Chris Rock over a joke he read off of a teleprompter, then sits down and holds in the tears. After this, he wins best Oscar, and immediately proceeds to cry like a little bitch.

Honestly, a few more “African-American” moments like this and you might see me watching television again. World Star Hip Hop’s apparently made it big and is running the Oscars these days.

He continued: “In this time in my life, in this moment, I am overwhelmed by what God is calling on me to do and be in this world. Making this film, I got to protect Aunjanue Ellis, who is one of the most strongest, most delicate people I’ve ever met. I got to protect Saniyya [Sidney] and Demi [Singleton], the two actors who played Venus and Serena.

Nigger what the fuck are you talking about? “I gots to prautext these delicate peeple.”

I’m being called on in my life to love people and to protect people. And to be a river to my people.

I’ve been stuck at this sentence for a while now, but I’m not seeing the analogy. What the fuck is that even supposed to mean? Did he mean to say rock? Because rivers just flow and transport water. Maybe he means that he’s there to provide an easy means of transportation for dem keedz as they move above and beyond to a higher socio-economic situation. But then again, maybe I thought about this more than he did, and he’s suffering from an affliction a lot of these talented tenths suffer from, where they think because they can use highfalutin language that De-Queerus doesn’t understand, that they should.

I know to do what we do, you gotta be able to take abuse you gotta be able to have people talk crazy about you. In this business you gotta be able to have people disrespecting you. And you gotta smile and you gotta pretend like that’s okay.”

Or, secret option B, which is running on stage, slapping them like a little girl, and then sitting down and crying after trash talking them. I mean both work.

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2 Comments

  1. Rock forgot to not relax around blacks!

  2. The pets of jews, niggers, doing what they’re trained to do. ’nuff said.

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