Aldergrove Star:

An independent support group for LGBTQIA2S+ people at Trinity Western University (TWU) can’t hold its storytelling event on campus this year, despite having held it there multiple times in the past.

Trinity Western University is a Christian insitution, and I mean that in the best sense. They do a lot of gay “look at our Christian Filipinos of Colour,” bullshit, but this is good stuff.

One TWU offers support to the LGBTQ+ community on campus, and advocates for inclusion. One way is through If You Only Knew…, its storytelling event scheduled for March 3.

As with past years, the group went through the protocols in its request for space, but the request was turned down by the private Christian university. The group was also told it could not put up posters about its support services and the event.

It’s only surprising that these butthole-leftists – an excellent term that I’m stealing from BANG user TrophyHusband – are being told no for the first time in their miserable AIDS filled lives. No one wants to see this disgusting garbage, and the sooner we get the butthole-leftists out of sight, the better. 

“We’re sharing our stories which I think should be a non-controversial thing,” said One TWU co-leader Carter Sawatzky.

I wonder what kind of stories Carter Sawatzky is going to tell us? Something about doing a squat and having his asshole explode no doubt. Maybe something else about how getting molested by a fifty five year old AIDS patient when he was seven was a deep and fulfilling experience. 

On second thought maybe we should let these people tell the world their stories. Their truth is the best advertisement for Total Monkeypox Removal.


The event for college-age people and older from the TWU community as well as the broader community has different speakers share their lived experiences.

“It’s not a contradiction. You can be queer and Christian,” Sawatzky said.

I think Jesus said something about that. The exact quote is something like “come to me the weak, and prolapsed of anus. Let me show thine the graceth of God as He blesseth us with ladyboys.” 

The decision goes against the inclusivity claimed by the school, Sawatzky added.

I’m starting to wonder what this Carter Sawatzky looks like. Let me head on over to that twitter and –

Oh he is exactly what I’d expect down to the last pixel.

Trust me, that’s him, the pure physical embodiment of mystery meat.  

Fraser Valley Current:

Queenie Rabanes can often see a visible difference when a fellow Trinity Western University student comes out as queer.

Their shoulders straighten; their gazes lift.

Their anuses prolapse. Their gaping axewounds fester.

I’m so sorry that you had to see that.

Rabanes is a co-leader of One TWU, a group of LGBTQ2S+ students and supporters at TWU, a Christian university in Langley that has been widely criticized for its community covenant forbidding sex outside of heterosexual marriage.

Apparently Mr. Mystery Meat has this friend named “Queenie Rabanes.” Jaime, can we zoom in on that face there. 

Buddy looks like a short Philippino guy who got height-cel’d, said “fuck it” and now goes around calling himself Queenie. Either that or he’s one of the most genetically unfortunate woman I’ve ever had the misfortune of seeing.

“We’re a community of queer students at the university. We’ve been here, we are here, and we want to make it a safer space.”

They include another picture, this time involving Matthew Wigmore, who apparently found the group. This guy, genetically, looks like he grew out of the combination of blood, semen, and fecal matter laying stagnant on the floor after an orgy at Bill’s Standard Fuckparty.

You can see more of this real life comedy horror on their Instagram page, although it honestly seems pretty low effort.

This might not seem like something all that important. It’s just a small collection of spiteful-mutants having a little pity party together in public. It just always hits harder when its near where you are.

And who knows, maybe we’ll pop by like we did in Kelowna. Unlikely, but it could be fun.

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1 Comment

  1. An actual holocaust is what should be done about this!

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