Here’s a bizarre story for you.


In these strange times for politics in Alberta, the following two things can be true at the same time: 

  1. Jason Kenney is one of the most ideologically conservative people to ever occupy a senior federal cabinet post or the premier’s chair — let alone both — with a background that includes both firmly social conservative values and a pre-politics job with the Canadian Taxpayers Federation.
  2. A near-majority (48.6 per cent) of United Conservatives voted to reject Jason Kenney’s leadership, largely because he was not conservative enough for their liking.

Shut the fuck up you annoying faggot.

Jason Kenney is one of the absolute worst servatives in the entire servative movement. He’s a career politician whose biggest and most important issue is literally shoving Somalis into small Albertan rural villages. But more importantly, a “near-majority,” of people voting against him means an actual majority of people voted for him. And yet, he’s resigning.

Scumsuckers like Jason Kenney do not give away power without a fight. Since he wasn’t forced out by a vote, he was undoubtedly told to take a step down by his donors behind the scenes. There is no question in my mind that they’ve got some obedient servants lined up behind him.

But seriously, get a load of this CBC propagandist.

But he’d invited into his makeshift right-wing coalition the Wildrosers, who were born out of disenchantment with the moderation and centrism of Alberta Tory governments. They tend to crave the fist-clenched verve of a rally speech, not the equivocations of a lengthy news-conference explanation. 

Yeah, the Wildrosers were disenfranchised with the moderation of conservatives. That’s it. Let’s take a look at some of that vaunted moderation.

Get a load of this moderacy.

The Wild Rose Party existed because people were tired of getting nothing from existing politicians.

Kenney has had to offer more of the latter in the last couple of years, as he did things like institute the mask and vaccine mandates he’d decried days earlier, or account for the failure of a freshly invested $1.3-billion in the doomed Keystone XL pipeline.

The UCP grassroots were offered a couple of different Jason Kenneys — Jasons Kenney? — and often seemed to prefer the one less tempered by the realities of Alberta’s situation, or by the fact that potentially larger shares of Albertans wished their premier would get tougher on COVID and easier on federal affairs, not the other way around. 

I read CBC propaganda so that you don’t have to. To translate this from propaganda to English, people were sick of Kenney pretending to advocate for them, and then giving them the opposite in terms of policy that they wanted.

Not to mention it was found that he broke his own mask rules days after instituting them, along with the rest of his privileged class dipshit party higher ups.

Danielle Smith and Brian Jean, the former Wildrose leaders, declared their candidacies before there was a leadership race to contest — and each will offer a return to those unflinching values Kenney had espoused, and perhaps delve into areas where Kenney had dared not go, like Smith’s doubting of climate science or Jean’s forays into “Great Reset” conspiracy theory.

Danielle Smith, seen above, was a former Wildrose Party leader. 

Danielle is cute, but disqualified from MILF status due to not actually having children.

Danielle Smith Website:

She married her husband, David in 2006 and together they own and operate The Dining Car, a fully renovated 1940s railcar dining car. She is the proud stepmother of David’s son Jonathan. Danielle and David live in High River with their two dogs, Caine and Colt.

Her website is all about fiscal responsibility and freedom and all that shit that nobody actually gives a fuck about if you’re under the age of 40. And this dog mom is portrayed as the scary Adolf-Enjoyer who might take over the United Conservative Party.

But we still need to get inside the head of confirmed shill Jason Kenney. Why did he resign? To answer that question, we step into another article written by the Cunty Bitches Conglomeration, also known as the CBC.


Premier Jason Kenney’s decision to resign as leader of the United Conservative Party has set the stage for a tumultuous contest for the job, leading to questions about what’s to come. 

Kenney narrowly survived the UCP leadership review on Wednesday, only to announce that he was quitting the top job anyway.

To gasps of surprise from supporters at an invitation-only event in Calgary, Kenney said the 51.4 per cent support he received was not enough to stay on.

Is there anyone who accepts this as his answer? Anyone? Anyone at all?

Is Kenney out for good? 

The short answer is no. 

Kenney is sticking around and so are his donors.

How will a new leader be chosen?

A timeline for a leadership campaign hasn’t been finalized but the party’s bylaws provide some benchmarks.

If such notice is not received within five business days, the leader’s resignation will be accepted as given, and a leadership election will officially begin.

In preparation for the vote, the party’s board will appoint a leadership election committee. The committee will set the rules and procedures and appoint a returning officer.

Only people who have been party members for at least six months are eligible for run for the leadership.

Each candidate must provide a nomination petition signed by at least 500 party members, along with the necessary fees and campaign paperwork.


My hunch was confirmed as true. Jason Kenney is resigning because his donors realize he’s become too obvious of a shill for everybody, so they need to replace him with someone who is less obvious of a shill. Make no mistake, the Leadership Election Committee will ensure that no one who is remotely populist or legitimate will even be allowed to run. They do the same for federal conservatives. And they have for a while.

So rest assured, the Albertan Conservative Party, the UCP, is going to remain exactly as fake and ghey as it is now.

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