Just when you thought corporations had turned their backs on we in the AIDS Community, they totally redeem themselves. Postmates has a video that is designed for that certain special someone in your life who keeps pooping on dicks at the local fuckparty. I mean it’s hilarious the first time it happens, but we all know how quickly that little prank can get old.
What are you eating this Pride?
If your answer is “Ass,” then keep watching. Postmates knocks this one out of the park.
Well if you’re a top it seems like you can eat whatever you want.
I know right? Us bottoms are just sitting there, watching the tops eat like:
Imagine not having to worry about shitting on a mans dick just because his penis is in your asshole? Bigots might say “WTF, why is his dick in your ass?” But that’s just not a serious option. If you aren’t in adult diapers, you aren’t proud of being gay.
But if you’re a bottom you’re expected to starve? Nawt thissss priiiidddddde!
You’re telling me that I don’t have to choose between starving myself and getting penises rammed into my asshole? Golly gosh darnit, that sounds too good to be true!
We teamed up with Dr. Evan Goldstein from Bespoke Surgical to bring you a menu of bottom-friendly foods backed by Science!
World’s top scientists say that these foods will lower the chance of you shitting on another man’s penis. However, this Austrian Painter has One Weird Trick to never shitting on another man’s penis again.
Faggots hate him!
Insoluble fiber won’t help you feel cute, so avoid things like: Whole Grains, Wheat Bran, Cauliflower, Potatoes, Legumes.
Speaking of cute, I don’t think I could go this entire series without showing you some of my favourite stills. They got all these fruits and vegetables and then dressed them up as homosexuals, and gave them cute high pitched voices.
Wholesome.
The problem with these foods is that they don’t disolve in water which could cause a traaaaafic jaaaaaam in your digestive system, making a mess of your evening.
Speaking of messy, it’s a good idea to avoid dairy.
If imaging the above as blood filled diarrhea coming out of an AIDS patient’s hairy asshole isn’t something that makes you roll your eyes, chuckle, and think to yourself “we’ve all been there,” then you’re not truly proud of being gay. We can all remember that time we ate a delicious milkshake, and the next thing we know we shit all over the dick of the sixth guy we had sex with that night.
#JustGirlyBoyProblems
If you’re going to eat something insoluble, give your body about 24 hours to process all of it. Soluble fibers and protein are the key to having some good, clean fun. These all digest easily and slowly while feeding your good gut bacteria.
Which makes sushi a great bottom-friendly option.
Sushi is definitely my go-to when I’m going to have 10-20 men ramming their penises into me at an all night fuckparty. Having said that, it’s kind of the mainstream bottom’s choice. I’m not saying it’s bad, but there are definitely some indie options available to you that this video doesn’t go into. If you’re curious, you can head on over to ProlapsedAnusesRUs.org, the World’s number one bottom resource.
There’s no right or wrong way to bottom, but if you’re planning on getting peachy this pride, the bottom friendly menu on Postmates has the kinds of foods that could keep you feeling good.
This is true, and it’s something that homophobes often forget. Just because you shit on your fuckparty boyfriends dick doesn’t mean that you bottomed wrong. Some of us like to be clean, some of us are more willing to bloody shit diarrhea all over the random guy’s dick in our asshole.
While I like this video, I do feel that it might stigmatize shitting on dick. That’s a big fetish amongst some in the AIDS community, and it’s sad that they have to fight for representation like this. We all need to be Proud this Pride. Even pedophiles.
At the end of the video they make sure to thank all the trans black folx who got us here. We need to support the Okra project, the same way that they support us educating ourselves so as to not shit on each others dicks quite as often.
Give a shoutout to Dr. Evan Goldstein, Rob Anderson, and Psyop and Barking Owl. I’m not really sure why we transitioned from real names to “Psyop,” but we did and it was courageous, bold, and I love it.
It’s also sad that we live in such hetero-normative times that even Postmates, a revolutionary corporation, has to specify that yes, the Eldritch horrors you were just exposed to were in fact real, and that this is not a parody. Other bigots online have chimed in, but what will they say after Dr. Goldstein gives us all brand spanking new bleached prolapses?
These bigotphobic prudes may console themselves with not having thousands of nasty diseases, but they’ll never have nearly as snazzy an asshole as I currently have after my taxpayer funded anal-reconstruction surgery. Here’s a video of me and my friends toasting to our brand spanking new prolapses.
Suck on that, chodes.
Dr. Goldstein sure seems like a swell guy!
The fact this is not a parody made by Dr. Shekelstein is truly mind bending.
Honestly this is great because its a reminder to straight ‘allies’, and to online zoomer teens who are exposed to mountains of femboy memes but haven’t yet been conned into faggotry IRL…. that yes, in fact, being a gay man is all about sticking your dick in a SHITHOLE, obsessing over shitholes, and no it is not “bussy” and doesn’t smell like anime cherry blossoms, it is a disgusting shit-filled asshole.
A lot of that can be lost amongst just rainbow icons and sanitized propaganda so making a normal person stop and realize just how disgusting the reality of faggotry is, is probably a good thing. In this case this ad should be shown to every adult not just targeted to dedicated “bottoms”