I can’t say I’ve ever watched an episode of Big Brother. I have seen the occasional highlight video of some shitty, worthless human being making a “move,” on the other shitty, worthless people that they all put together in a house. And by move I mean stabbing them in the back.

Let me back up a second. The premise of the show is that you get a whole bunch of vaguely attractive people with borderline personality disorders shoved into one house. Each week one of them gets kicked off by the other contestants. There are some things to mix it up, where they do stupid little challenges, and this can earn them immunity for the week, as well as give them a few other bonuses. But at it’s core it’s a game about manipulating everyone else and backstabbing them on your way to the finish line.

You can get a glimpse at this cancer on the anus of our society in the above clip. And for context on the social dynamics and racial dynamics of past Big Brother seasons…

Heavy:

Members of the all-Black Cookout alliance from “Big Brother 23” and other “Big Brother alums” from past seasons used the hashtag #BlkBBWeekend (Black Big Brother weekend) to document their visit to Phoenix, Arizona over the weekend of January 15.

“This was a special weekend because we were able to personally thank the previous Black BB alumni players for opening up, not only their arms to welcome us in the community, but opening the door for The Cookout to make ‘Big Brother’ history,” Tiffany Mitchell told Us Weekly. “It is their years of struggling to be accepted and represented that fueled our desire to ensure a Black winner for season 23.”

The six-person Cookout alliance worked together to achieve a common goal on “Big Brother 23” — ensuring the show got its first Black winner. They didn’t always get along, but they stuck to their promise and made it to the final six together.

On the previous season, Big Brother 23, six Customer-Americans made an all-Black alliance. And not just an all-Black alliance, an explicitly racial alliance whose sole purpose was to get a Black to win Big Brother. This was heavily criticized by normal people, and celebrated by the exact same people who are collectively losing their shit at Kyle Hitler, the most Chad Big Brother contestant we may have ever had.

And when say losing their collective shit, I mean they managed to get their assblastery trending on twatter. Something these anti-White clowns noticed themselves.

What did our brave Aryan Race Warrior Kyle Capener do to warrant this justified Rage of Colour? Reading between the lines, he essentially did what the Cookout blacks did, but for White People. And for this, he is to be punished by the feeble, constantly online crowd that still uses twatter in the year 2022.

And by punished I mean they whined a lot on twatter. To pick one of these butthurt tweets almost at random, here’s one butthurt spiritual redditor whining about Adolf Capener forming his Nice White Neighbourhood inside the heebrew hellscape that is Big Brother.

Let me go ahead and transcribe this rational human being for you.

#StopProtectingKyle Casuals – KKKyle wants an all white alliance. Had sex w/Alyssa 3x on a pool floaty and wasted 30 seconds. Won veto. Refused to use it bc boohoo Alyssa (the day after 10 second sex). Is an all around waste of space in the house. We hate him.#bb24

And who by chance is our brave twatter afficionado referring to when it says “we.”

Well that would be someone who goes by “Professor Loki,” online, and supports BLM, Neurodiversity (whatever that means), ADHD (oh, okay), weed, surviving stuff, and also is a huge Big Brother fan. This is who we’re dealing with here.

SoapDirt:

Big Brother houseguest Kyle Capener suggested a shocking division of the house. And, he listed off how he would divide the house by race.

Not only did he propose an alliance based on color, but also wants to spare Daniel Durston. Daniel is white, and the guy the whole house wants to target.

Kyle Capener

What an absolute legend Kyle is. Not only is he forming a White Alliance, but he’s so committed to it that he’s fighting the entire house to saving his fellow White Man. Hats off for Kyle.

And I’m letting the good vibes flow through me.

And once again, reading between the lines, he may well be right that the non-Whites have indeed formed an alliance against Whitey, making this simply the logical and self-preserving move to make. After all, these kinds of shows end up revolving around alliances. If your alliance is outnumbered, then you’re basically screwed unless a lot of things go your way.

But it’s funnier to think that Kyle just did this because he hates them so much. That he’s had Shaniqua be rude to him one too many times, and now he’s getting a White contestant to the finals, even if it cost him his time on Big Brother.

If I was surrounded by all those shitty people, I’d probably pull something like that off too. And who knows, maybe I’ll tune into the finale if he’s still there at the final two, or however it is they do it.

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