“When I heard that [it was a] silver object with a payload attached to it, that could be one of our balloons,” a member of the Northern Illinois Bottlecap Balloon Brigade told POLITICO in a phone interview. The member was granted anonymity because the group has agreed not to talk to the media.
There is a rodent in the our Northern Illinois Bottlecap Balloon Brigade. And this rodent is gonna spill his spaghetti to the feds. Might as well tell the CIA where we’ve been having our hooded meetings while you’re at it buddy.
This is not the revolutionary discipline that I’ve come to expect from the Bottlecap Balloon Brigade. The first rule of balloon club is that you do not talk about balloon club. The second rule of balloon club is that you do not talk about balloon club. The third rule of balloon club, is that if this is your first balloon you must get shot down by an F-22.
National Security Council spokesperson John Kirby told reporters on Friday that the U.S. can’t confirm reports that the balloon belongs to the club. “We haven’t recovered it so it’s very difficult until you can get your hands on something to be able to tell,” he said. “I mean we all have to accept the possibility that we may not be able to recover it.”
For months, the hobby group tracked its balloon using an antenna attached to the craft, using GPS to estimate where it was. Based on their data, the balloon should have been over Alaska when it went offline.
But hundreds, if not thousands, of objects are floating in that jet stream at any given time, so no one can be sure what was shot down unless you “go through the Yukon and trudge through the snow,” the member said.
“Think about it. We know where the balloon was off the coast of Alaska. We know where it was, if all was well,” the member said. “We know that it didn’t wake up that morning. We know [American forces] shot something down, and the thing they described as having shot down is not inconsistent with what we’re flying out there. So, that’s that.”
Balloons flown by the Northern Illinois Bottlecap Balloon Brigade are no different from the $10 to $15 balloons children buy for parties, the person said. They’re not specifically designed for scientific purposes. The Sidewinder missile used by the Air Force to shoot down the object over the Yukon costs roughly $400,000.
It literally is the meme.
The US Military made a huge deal out of shooting down a high school science fair project. A bunch of kids in something literally called the Bottlecap Balloon Brigade released a store bought balloon with a GPS transmitter up into the atmosphere. It got blown around by the winds for months until it met its demise in the jaws of an F-22 Raptor.
“Unless it has Mickey Mouse ears and F-22 pilots got sharp eyes and can discern that, it’s not clear exactly what you’re looking at. But the point is that it is not at all a huge reach,” to assume it’s the group’s balloon, the member said.
Kirby said the U.S. stands by the decision to shoot down the objects.
Protect and serve. Ooo raa.
“Given the situation we were in, the information available, the recommendation of our military commanders, it was exactly the right thing to do at exactly the right time,” he said.
US Military: Oh ya know ballooooooon. I’m coming to kill youuuuu. Above a child’s house. In Alaska.
Non retarded public: You mean you’re monitoring the situa-
US Military: No, in real life.
America is over.