Page Six:

Always one to XXXpress herself.

Madonna shared a new crop of topless selfies to her Instagram Stories Friday, keeping the flashback to her original “Sex” era going strong as she posed in a white under-bust corset with lollipop and money-bag emojis covering her nipples.

You wanna see these pictures? What’s that? You don’t? Well fuck you.

Fu-King Hawt! My favourite part is that her face almost makes her look like a member of the human species. This adds that familiar, yet exotic look that’s all the rage these days. I thought that Denise Richard‘s 60 year old OnlyFans almost-nudes were sexy, but this is just a whole new level of wow.

The “Like a Virgin” performer, 64, has been going hard in channeling the most unabashedly sex-plicit chapter of her legendary career in light of the 30th anniversary of her coffee table book “Sex,” a volume of soft-core pornographic photographs of the singer drawing heavily on S&M imagery, as well as the debut of her album “Erotica” the same month of October 1992.

This might come across as nitpicking, and I don’t want to be accused of ingratitude, but do you think it might maybe have been possible for the most “sex-plicit” chapter of her career to coincide with her being pre-menopause.

Look, I know this is a lot to ask for, but if I’m going to get a low quality whore with nothing to offer but her pussy, do you think I could maybe get the 2000 model instead of the 1965? Arianna Grande is a worthless sloot, but her zionist managers had the good sense to push her when she was a teenager, and not forty years later.

TMZ:

She’s… literally post-menopausal.

She should be obsessed with smoothies, book clubs, and taking care of her grandchildren. I tried going along with the bit, but stop. This is not sexy. This is not titillating, and as much as I loathe Madonna this is starting to come across more like elder abuse than something I can laugh at with good conscience.

And that’s it, the story ends. Madonna is a childless post-menopausal woman who doesn’t really have a music career anymore no matter how hard she tries. She’s reduced to flaunting her senior citizen body on instagram in order to get attention, and she’s currently in a fetishistic relationship with a 23 year old man who’s either mentally ill, or is using her for money, connections, or infamy. Oh and there’s also this “sexy dancing,” video she put out.

We start off with some hawt and sexy footage of her working out.

Boy, there’s a shot I couldn’t have lived the rest of my life without seeing. She’s just so sexy I want to bury my face right there in that senior citizen gash and go to town.

Madonna then stops working out and dances around for a while. It’s impossible to catch in screencaps, but the juxtaposition between her very minimal movements, and how clearly out of breath she gets makes the entire thing unintentionally hilarious.

Not content more innocent dancing, Madonna feels the need to repeatedly shove her rear into the camera. Yes, this is what we were all asking for, Madonna twerking directly at us. The best, where by best I mean most darkly humous, part of the whole thing is that she clearly lacks any explosive power in her hips, so she just kind of moved her rear forwards and backwards.

It wasn’t bad enough for Madonna to be a granny dancing to some modern garbage. No, instead she had to go out and paint an accidental portrait of a wasted life by dancing to Inner City’s Big Fun, a track that came out in 1988. Tell us that you’re desperate to go back to your youth without saying “I’m desperate to go back to my youth.”

Well despite said youth being many decades in the rearview mirror, Madonna still dances in her room to the tracks of her girlhood, she just also hires a professional camera team to film her ass while she does it. And really, how sad and delusional do you need to be to think that you’re not going to get made fun at when you are literally a senior citizen twerking on instagram? 

If the only two reactions people have to your life are mirth or pity then something has gone horribly wrong.

UPDATE: Readers have pointed out that Madonna has two biological children. Somehow this makes it even sadder what she’s doing, because she should be just supporting her children and grandchildren at this point. I could kind of understand a woman who never had children still trying to make it happen at her old age. That might even be sympathetic. But to ignore your children and try to make yourself into a sex symbol at age 64…

But then again, if she wasn’t behaving like a worthless ditz at age 64 she wouldn’t be a proper ambassador for judaism.

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6 Comments

  1. Ewww. Just ewww. I am a woman, and I KNOW how crazy women can be. ESPECIALLY woman who were very hot stuff, in their youth, and just don’t want to let it go, even though “it” (youthful sexual appeal) left ages ago.

    I used to be friends with a woman that was a decade older than me. She was very lively and creative, and very much fun to be with. We used to bar-hop, with other pals, whenever and wherever there was “live” music. I used to go out to to dance. Not pick up guys – but dance. One ight went to popular nightclub to dance. She was in her mid-forties at that time. She was still very attractive and charismatic…but..the clock ticks on…

    She became enraged that night, because all the guys were drooling over a stunningly beautiful green eyed blonde , obviously in her early twenties. I still recall that young lady. The girl was with a group of her friends, and they were there to enjoy themselves. ; The other girls in the group were very cute young women, but this one blonde was an absolute knock-out. Movie-star/model looks. I remember this because I though the scene was funny; EVERY guy in the place was trying to get this young lady’s attention, but she was there just to have fun with her pals. She wasn’t paying attention to any of the men You could tell she was a lovely, well-raised genuine young LADY. She was not dressed nor behaving like a dead-souled whore. And no – she wasn’t with a pack of dykes.

    Every one was dancing, and my pal became so enraged by the attention the young blonde was attracting that she tried to “dance” (shove) the young woman off the dance floor. I was dismayed; I dragged her out of there and listened to her rant about “young bitches” for about an hour, as we drove around. I tried to argue with her, about youth, and the passing of same, to no avail. That was a lesson to me, because my friend seemed crazy, deranged, and PATHETIC to me. Alas, I could tell you quite a few stories about demented aging women…

    1. A tragic story, but an all too familiar one. We all need to eventually move on from youth and into the next phase in our lives. I feel like mid forties women sending hate vibes towards early twenties women on the dance floor is the female equivalent of an old boxing champion who still thinks he breathes fire coming back for one last ride. In both cases it can be hard to watch someone’s delusions get shattered in real time.

      A woman can age like fine wine, provided that she stops trying to be a hawt sexy maneater, and starts transitioning into being a mother instead.

      1. Bingo.

        I don’t quite agree with you comparison to an aging boxer; there is something almost noble about an aging lion , trying for one last shot of glory. Tragic but honorable.

        My (ex) pal just came across as deranged. No one understood what she was doing. The other people on the dance floor looked bewildered and angry. The Beauty and her friends had done NOTHING to warrant hostile, aggressive behavior. I knew what she was doing, When I got her off the floor I made a quick apology to the girls. I told them the truth – that she was jealous of pretty young girls getting all the attention. I didn’t single out the Beauty because I didn’t want to insult her pals. I also wasn’t going to spare the ExPal because it was TRUE. I was angry with her for behaving like such a fool, and ruining the night for us. She was angry with me for apologizing. We left, and as I stated, I listened to her rant and rave for about an hour, as we drove around looking for another place to go. We wound up going home, as the buzz had definitely been killed dead. That nigh didn’t end our friendship. But I was appalled by her behavior. I moved out of town for a few years, and then moved back. She was pissed with me for leaving. We ran into each other a few times after that but neither of us had any interest in resuming the friendship. She was married; she did begin an affair with a much younger man. That ended; she met another younger man at a party. He was married; they each left their spouses for each other. I don’t know where she is now. I don’t know what happened to the abandoned young wife, but the last time I ran into the ex-pal’s divorced husband was in a fine local restaurant. He had remarried , to a very wealthy woman, a lawyer, his own age. He looked happier than I ever saw him. Life is ruefully funny…

        I’ll stop going on but I’ll tell you one quick story about crazy aging women. I once got a gaggle of middle-aged female co-workers furious with me. They were either single or divorced. One of them – I can’t recall if she was in her late Forties or early Fifties – was lamenting the fact that ALL the single men, that were her own age, wanted to date young woman. My reply was, “Of course. This is hard-wired by biology. Youth is beauty, beauty is youth. It’s about the ability to bear children”. My gal in question was outraged! “The guys don’t WANT babies – they want YOUNG women”. “It doesn’t matter – it’s a biological imperative. It’s hard wired”. (Yes. I really talk that way). The woman and her cohort turned on me, and told me how crazy I am. It took a few weeks before they simmered down. They regarded my opinion as a betrayal. I kind of learned my lesson, with that episode, to just keep my mouth shut because woman like that don’t want to HEAR it.

        FYI I do know sensible older women who are mothers, and accept reality, and lead very productive, positive lives because they grew up emotionally.

        1. It’s a sad truth that life can pass us by. People can most definitely age out of love, whether they want to admit this or not. Frankly, even with men, while it’s true that a 40 year old man who takes care of himself is probably more attractive than a 40 year old woman, why would you want to wait until you’re 40 to marry someone you love and start a family with them?

  2. Regarding that “dance” video – the uber-washed out black and white photography; it was made that way to disguise Madonna’s aging face. You can’t do face filters on a video. The quick edits are designed to mask her lack of energy.

    Madonna is not childless; why isn’t any one in her life telling her to stop?

    Re: yhe “boyfriend” – he’s a ghetto-y mulatto, with dreads. Ewww. Tragic.

  3. More like gramma-dona…

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