In our last installment, which you can read here, I promised to milk his YouTube LOLcow videos. So I trawled through his channel in search of videos that were less than 2-3 minutes long. Here’s his first work of comedic genius, CORONA ABS.
Been stuck indoors as of late?
I’m sure you have a lot of questions right now, and I don’t know the answers to any of them. I don’t know why Jason “Go Pee” Kohne thought it would be funny to just loudly say “CORONA ABS,” as the punchline. I don’t know why the unfunny punchline is always accompanied by a bottle of what looks like unlabeled (Corona?) beer surrounded by mist.
Did you catch Covid-19, or did you get the Covid-19?
I’ve been wracking my head, and am now certain that there is no actual joke here. This guy copied all the structure of a joke, but there just isn’t any humour.
The video then ends with yet another thing I can’t explain.
It’s even weirder in motion, because the face is animated. There’s no audio either, it’s just a good solid 10 seconds of nothing, then the face appears for two seconds and moves around a bit. And then the video ends. I am mystified.
I don’t want to make anybody over self-conscious. Everybody makes the occasional joke that very much misses the mark. However, it’s often easier to tell if there’s something seriously wrong with someone when they attempt to make humour, because you can clearly tell how weird they are. Sometimes they can pass as normal when they’re being serious.
We’ve seen some examples of this earlier, such as his photoshop of RC’s head to “own” him.
Okay Mr. ARYAN CHILD SOLDIER TOTAL WAR is not particularly normal when being serious either, it’s just more pronounced when he’s doing comedy.
The above video is 37 seconds of silence, wherein text slowly forms and crawls across the screen that says “make sure your phone doesn’t accidentally record you singing.” His own commenters are just as confused as the rest of os.
The below one is not actually comedy, at least not intentionally, but I wanted to share it anyway.
The screencap below is from him explaining the terms you are supposed to use when having conversations with actual, well-adjusted people.
Anti-White is good. Anti-White narrative, also fine. White Erasure is sort of okay. Anti-whitism is kind of weird and Westernkind is retarded. Please don’t talk like this.
Beyond that, you should actually have a purpose to bringing up politics in a conversation. Most people do not enjoy randos coming up to them and talking about politics for no reason, especially when they are not affiliated with any serious group. If you end a conversation with someone with “so that’s why it’s so important to Go Free of the anti-White narrative,” you really need to be following that up with more than “watch this tiny YouTube channel.”
Below video is titled “Comically Seeking Level While Making 2021 Channel Introduction.”
In said video Kohne makes sure to show us the inside of his nose. Thanks Jason.
Then he points at the camera while “sexily” scowling.
Then he spends a tedious amount of time adjusting the level, before making this face along with some others.
The video ends with him giving us an inspiring pep talk.
None of us walk on water, but together we can walk through fire. Recapture our Destiny!
Many of these videos just don’t appear to have any purpose. This one above appears to be a random video explaining that you should put flowers in water. But then he ends with:
Step 7: With one of the flowers locked in your gleaming teeth crash through the French Doors on a Friesian Stallion that rears in glorious victory. Tuck the flower into the horses mane with one hand, and, sweeping with the other flamboyantly pull your woman onto its back. And, well, staring towards and uncertain horizon with the glow of victory on your face, announce that your misses has two more wishes.
I feel this way a lot when writing about Kohne. Its not quite like Fuentes, where he’s T-Posing in a rented mustang while Beardson tells you he’s going to be the next POTUS.
That’s sort of explosively retarded. In contrast, everything is just… off with Kohne. There’s this general low-level weirdness that can become quite difficult to write about.
Immediately in contrast to what I just said, here’s a hard to watch 24 seconds long video wherein Jason jokes that when he kidnaps women they usually don’t want to leave. He thought he was so smooth saying this that he uploaded it to YouTube and added the French accordion in the background.
Jason “White While Suavely Peeing” Kohne slaying the puss yet again.
And here’s Jason Kohne, making the absolutely Heelarious joke that he and his co-host Jared George aren’t really wearing costumes. Now I know what you’re thinking:
Fuck me with a wooden crowbar I could have SWORN they were wearing costumes.
But Kohne explains that actually it’s next year that they’re going to wear costumes. You see, there’s a little twist you’ll never get. Jason and George are actually…
Wait for it…
I think next year Mr. George and I will actually wear costumes, as opposed to the normal clothes that we wear onstage at Chip’N’Dale’s.
ABSOLUTE CHUCKLE FACTORY IN HERE GOYIM.
What really blows my mind is that Jason has this shit eating grin plastered on his face, as if he’s made the funniest joke in all of human history. Not only that, but he apparently thought this was so uproariously hilarious that he needed to upload it to YouTube. Except the video is from January 4th. So he wanted to remind everyone of this hilarious joke he made more than two full months prior.
And he didn’t even make the joke right. First of all, that other guy has face makeup on, and is wearing full clothing, so it doesn’t really work. Secondly, the way you word that joke is “Guys it’s been fun, but as you can see I have to get back to my Chip’n’Dale performance. I’ll see you guys on the next stream.”
Small jokes require small or no setup. There are lots of only barely funny things that normal people say, but we don’t build up a shitty punchline. Stop being so fucking weird and have a little bit of social intelligence FFS.
I don’t have the time or patience to make my way through his entire catalogue. And the below video only bring us back to Jun 2020, but this is it for me. Enjoy “A New Hero Speaks.” It’s a “real” story wherein a cultist details his experience reaching out to fellow truckers using Go Pee Lexicon.
@No White Guilt
Thought it is not my background or education, I have been driving a truck for the past two years to survive. It was interesting hearing the talk about reaching out to truckers. I think there is tremendous opportunity here. Yesterday at a customer site a white male warehouse worker (rare) asked me if I’ve run into any “riots.”
I lit up and channeled my inner Kohne and started unloading as much Go Pee as I could.
Prepare for the cringe.
First, I corrected him by saying “Riots, you mean the anti-White destruction of western civilization?” He agreed and eagerly gave me his ear. So I took the foor and preached as much and as fast as I could, highlighting that this destruction is happening because of anti-White-ism and that we are living in a fictional story called the anti-White narrative.
You told this to a truck driver?
He eagerly asked me “how can we turn things around?”
I said “Very simple. All we need to do is get enough (((fellow White People))) to step out of this fictional story and into a new one where we are the heroes. We do this by using our own words like anti-White and anti-White-ism.”
This definitely sounds like a real conversation two actual people had. I’ll bet his response was “but what about the anti-whites oppressing Westernkind.” And then you said “we must first focus on White Well Being,” to which he and his fellow warehouse workers Went Pee and stopped being the villains in the anti-White narrative.
I finished by telling him “racist,” is an anti-White slur and told him to find much more info by looking up No White Guilt and Going Pee. He truly absorbed this like a man in the desert dying of thirst.
I gave him a drink through a fire hose.
Jason I think your truck driver fan-fiction crossed over with your gay literotica.
Some of it is bound to stick.
Jason please I don’t need to read this.
Hopefully he will start going free and spread it to all of his buddies.
Indeed, imagine if this spread to just a quarter of the employees he works with.
I thought you said he was the only White guy? Oh right, I forgot that literally anyone is welcome in this cult.
By God this is how we turn the whole anti-White titanic ship around and recapture our destiny, one oar man at a time goinge pee.
Yeah it’s definitely not activism or running for office.
I cannot think of anything in history as great as recapturing our destiny. This may be Westernkind’s finest achievement to date, which is saying a lot.
Jason, you are much more than vindicated to any nay-sayers (past, present and future). You are enshrined. I recognized this strategy was gold the first stream I listened to almost a year ago because there is nothing else like it anywhere! Period.
Jason, being a weirdo, is unable to create fictional characters that are not themselves weirdos. He is also unable to put himself into the shoes of the audience and create some believable praise.
And that’s it. Oh sure, there’s more, and if anyone wants to send me something, you go right ahead. But I’m done for now with Kohne. There’s nothing left to say. I’ll put out a “Greatest Hits,” episode soon and that’ll be that.
Thanks for reading.