LVIV, Ukraine — “Jesus, what a fucked up country,” John said in exasperation at the vagaries of the Polish rail system. John was one of the latest recruits for Ukrainian President Zelensky’s Foreign Legion, bound for the Ukrainian city of Lviv where his recruiter had told him to report. A rail-thin, 20-something from Mobile, Alabama, John had tried the U.S. Army but left halfway through his enlistment due to “medical problems,” he told me. I wondered if his medical problems had resolved sufficiently for him to be fighting the Russians but said nothing. Sporting woodland camouflage, a scraggly goatee, and thick glasses of the style made famous by Jeffrey Dahmer, John seemed to me to be an unlikely candidate. He soon confirmed that impression.
Come on though, isn’t this all a bit rough. Sure soldiers need to carry potentially hundreds of pounds all over the place, but this guy’s being a bit rough on poor on John here. I mean, how bad can it be?
“I wanted to fight, see,” he explained, “But my mom said that I wouldn’t be any good at that. So I figured, they are going to need someone to show them the way.”
Okay it’s bad. You’ve got a guy who flunked out of the US Military, which is now taking tranny furries I might add, and wanted to fight in Ukraine but his mommy wouldn’t let him.
The Way – it turned out – was not the Way to expel the Russians, but a different kind of Way. John was here to enlist in the Ukrainian Army as a chaplain. I tried to be encouraging but couldn’t deflect an image of John delivering eulogies in broad Alabaman to uncomprehending Ukrainian soldiers as they headed up the line. Sorry about the no-fly zone thing President Zelensky, but we can save the Ukrainian people in other ways.
It has been absolutely glorious watching the slow imposition of reality on these propagandists. Here we have a guy who himself volunteered for “Ukraine,” where by Ukraine I mean Zelensky, and even he’s taking a big steaming dump all over the entire project.
John, incidentally, was one of the first prospective Legion recruits whom I met, but by all accounts, his story was not unusual. The initial crop of applicants has been a mixed bag – with a swarm of Fantasists for every one candidate with experience in combat. And even combat experience means little in this war – because trading shots with the Taliban or al Qaeda is quite different from crouching in a freezing foxhole being pummeled by artillery fire.
As others have pointed out, it’s arguable that there are no US soldiers, or ex-soldiers, who have any relevant experience. They’ve gone from a situation where they were fighting against poorly armed peasants in asymmetric warfare, to almost the complete opposite. No air support, no missile support, some artillery, but less than the Russians. And most of the fighting being grueling urban conflict.
Fighting in Afghanistan for 10 years is probably a lot better than this John fellow flunking out of basic training, but we’ve heard plenty of stories of experienced US troops getting a rude shock as the Russians blow up their barracks with cruise missiles.
Turns out fighting the Taliban doesn’t prepare you for long range missile strikes. Weird. Who knew? Well, other than me and everybody else with a functioning brain.
This soldier thought he was signing up for Iraq/Afghanistan part 2. Getting to go around on patrols instead of just sitting in a trench hoping to live through the next artillery barrage. Or going to bed each night praying to not get hit with the next cruise missile.
The above story is from about two weeks ago. At the time this guy was getting a lot of shit from the other Redditors. But in recent times even they have become less delusional about (((Zelensky’s))) chances.
Recruits for the Ukrainian Foreign Legion are invited to apply via the Ukrainian embassy in their country of residence. After a cursory initial interview, they are told to head for Ukraine via Warsaw and overland to Lviv in western Ukraine. The route is so well known that it is heavily monitored by the Russians, according to a Ukrainian special forces officer I spoke with. He was worried that they would soon begin targeting recruits before they reached their destination.
Instead they’ve settled for just destroying the barracks they’re sleeping in. It’s very generous of the Ukrainian Government to clump all the little retards together to make it easier for the Russians to destroy with long range missiles.
It’s pretty hilarious to me. I write about 20,000 words thus far on how important it is to hide important things from the enemy in the era of long range missiles. So the Zelensky Regime just outright tells the entire world where everything is. The results, seen above, are eminently predictable.
In their first trial by fire earlier this month, the volunteers were put into a hasty defense north of Kyiv, as the Russians began their onslaught on the towns lying north of the city. After the initial volley of Ukrainian anti-tank missiles had stopped the attackers in their tracks, enemy soldiers spilled out of their armored fighting vehicles about a quarter-mile in front of the volunteers, and into a withering storm of fire that halted the assault.
Although the Legionnaires helped to halt the attack, their performance that day was uneven — an observation that led the Ukrainians to discharge the surviving members of the initial intake, without any ceremony or official notification.
So the Reddit Dilation Brigade was so garbage that the Ukrainians decided they were better off without them. Why am I not surprised to hear this?
Worse was to come. An unknown number of new recruits were training at a camp near the border when, a strike by Tupolev bombers, carrying Kh 101 cruise missiles, destroyed the camp. The death toll is not yet clear, but Ukrainian officers have told me that it will likely be more than 100.
I mentioned this earlier. Look, none of this makes any sense from a military perspective. Ukraine has a population of 38 million people. They don’t lack meatbags, they just want foreigners to start dying en masse for propaganda purposes. This conflicts with the priorities of the Ukrainian Officers on the ground, who don’t want these useless dipshits losing battles for them.
You see, soldiers aren’t free. They have a certain cost in terms of food and ammunition per head, and need to justify that. Beyond that, soldiers can have negative value through giving your position away, being so unreliable that they don’t impede the enemy, friendly fire, or any number of other reasons. So the Reddit Dilation Force is finding out that actual Ukrainians want nothing to do with them.
With most of its initial intake now discharged, and many from subsequent intakes killed or wounded, the plan to stand up the Ukrainian Foreign Legion program is one part of the Ukrainian war effort that is definitely not going well.
As stated earlier, the plan never made sense militarily. It was purely for cynical propaganda purposes. Now that NATO has made it clear they aren’t going to LARP like they have the ability to establish a No Fly Zone, military considerations have taken over. That means no flabby dipshit soldier LARPers from Reddit.
John was having none of this. “Yeah, well they gonna need someone to administer to them,” he insisted, before shouting again in frustration at the Poles. “Can’t wait to get out of this shitty country.” I wanted to remind him that the place where he was going was considerably shittier but thought it churlish to do so.
John’s brighter than he looks. Those Ukrainian Soldiers are going to need many holy men to see them off to heaven. At least they won’t see Zelensky where they’re headed.