Not content with drowning in Liberal tears after he points out that Democrats were the party of slavery, Steven Crowder, a one man wrecking crew on a warpath for lower taxes for Corporations that outsource our jobs to Israel, has unzipped his fly and placed his flaccid conservative cock right on the forehead of the untouchable god of Liberalism, Adolf Hitler. In a recent exchange between he and his cohosts on his White Power talk show, he finally takes SoCIaLiST Hitler to task for his support of child trannies.
I was going to transcribe this, before realizing that I have no idea who his co-hosts are. So I’m just going to name the first guy “Chubster,” and the second guy “Foureyes.” I’m sure Crowder would approve.
Steven Crowder Pretending to be Hitler with a German Accent: It’s really severe like I made up these things about ze jews. You’re actually doing this! You’re actually having five year olds hanging dollar bills into your panties and your gheisen!
Chubster, also with a German Accent: I’ll release the jews and apologize. Zis is too much.
Crowder: They make the jews sign a treaty like *puts on accent* Okhay lizten we vill release you on the terms that you are now the Gestapo for all the drag events.
*forced laughing from cohosts*
Foureyes: Can you imagine the earnest parts, where he’s like, he better invent like a better lightbulb or something like that. Like he better make sure that the trans community can go out and have kids walk the stage with him. You better do something like that. Earnest sacrifice.
I’ve watched this probably ten times now. I still have no idea what that last guy was getting at.
Chubster: Vat is this decadent lifestyle?
*More forced laughter*
Crowder (imitating Hitler): I’m going to paint it. *switches* and then everyone’s like that’s terrible, like what is that post-surrealism, and he’s like ‘no zis is real, it’s happening!’
Chubster (still imitating Our Fuhrer): No it comes, it becomes zis, look, I dress like this – *switches* he’s just dressing in drag.
Is that it? That was the joke? Somebody save me from these charisma black holes that Crowder has for his co-hosts.
Foureyes: Well Hitler was in part a response to this kind of culture developing in Germany.
Are we about to see Louder with Crowder admit that Our Lord and Saviour Adolf Hitler is vastly superior to these boy hungry pedophiles?
Crowder and Both Co-Hosts Simultaneously: Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Well apparently not. What they actually said, when they weren’t making inaudible noises, was the following.
Crowder: NOW LET’S BE CLEAR, OF COURSE NO ONE IS DEFENDING HITLER –
Foureyes: Course not he was terrible.
Chubster: *inaudible defending Hitler.
It’s hard to figure out everything that was said since they were all whining at the same time.
Crowder: The only point that we are making –
Chubster: I’m sure that he would jump on board with it because he’s an awful.
Foureyes: He’s an awful human being, probably the worst in human history.
Crowder: He would have been a self-
Anonymous co-host: *inaudible.
Crowder: Yes. He would have been a self-loathing drag dancer. With children. That’s what we are saying.
This is some of the most prescient analysis I have ever seen. That’s actually the entirety of my review of the next chapter of In His Own Words. They stole the words right out of my mouth.
If you’re curious, that chapter details the time when Hitler gave a speech about how child trannies were really great, and how Magnus Hirschfeld was a really swell guy. He also goes on about how he only has one testicle and a micropenis and he’s making everything up about the jews because they serve as a useful scapegoat for his personal demons.
It’s a little known fact that the above shot is actually people high fiving Hitler on his way to a brothel full of German children. Only instead of doing statutory rape, he just dressed up in a thong and made them put five dollar bills in his pocket while he had a bright red ball gag in his mouth. That’s what he was into. This is the suppressed true history of fascism that the Libs don’t want you to know.
This might not sound believable, especially considering that the actual natzees burned down Magnus Hirschfeld’s creepy human experimentation outfit. But DNA evidence uncovered from Hitler’s bunker shows conclusively that he did indeed dress up in high heels, makeup, and a wig and dance for five year olds. If you don’t believe that, you don’t believe science.
Bigot.
