I’ve been covering Steven Crowder’s recent counter-jewhad. No, not that time that he barged in unannounced to one of our meetings here in Canada constantly spewing racial slurs. Or when he straight up murdered a small negro child in Toronto in the middle of the street, but no one ever talks about that because they’re too afraid of him.
People got angry when our government voted unanimously – including every single conservative member of parliament – to label the Proud Boys a domestic terrorist organization. I was outraged, but a lot of Proud Boys got in our chats and informed us that no, Steven Crowder had taken over their group and was just straight up doing terrorism. I mean they literally were a one man terrorist organization once Steven Crowder got in.
There’s no stopping Steven “Human Chowder With” Crowder. He literally made a man watch his toddler get eaten in front of him. He must be stopped at all costs.
Crowder: I don’t think [Kanye] hates Jewish people. I think he’s been wronged. And sometimes he’s aiming sometimes a howitzer, he’s been imprecise.
Because if he were as precise as Steven “the human cruise missile” Crowder he would know that all these heebenrats deserve hatred. And yes, that includes the Jew children as well. So maybe it’s time to be less of a cuck you fucking ***gger. Hate the Jews more or I’m nuking Africa.
Some people have suggested that Crowder is a shill, which is why he still has his YouTube channel. This is nonsense. Crowder is just playing the long game as our man on the inside. You have to accept Crowder occasionally shilling for the Republican Party. He has to say that. It doesn’t make him any less /Ourgoy/.
If you don’t believe me just look at that last paragraph. Look at what he said right there in the transcript. I don’t know what else to tell you. Just watch the video if you don’t believe me.
But he’s not wrong about everything.
I’m getting some serious “there’s a lot of things that I looooooove about Hitlerrrrrrrr,” flashbacks.
Look is there a conversation to be had… about… secular humanists with Jewish last names in Hollywood.
Exploiting people in positions of the performance arts, talent.
Yeah. Yeah. And by the way, that happens in the conservative movement too, behind the scenes.
People sign contracts where they don’t know what they’re signing. Yeah it’s true. Is there a disproportional number of people with Jewish last names in higher banking.
That’s an argument that can be made.
I had to cut the video out there. I saw the rest, but I can’t post it. I don’t mean because YouTube will take me down, since I’m pretty sure Crowder has blackmail on Susan Wojcicki, or “that YouTube Jew,” as he refers to her in private. I mean, the authorities will come and break down my house if I allow what Crowder said next to circulate. And frankly, I’d deserve it. So sorry, I can’t offer any proof but trust me bro, this really happened.
Crowder: I think there’s an argument to be made that maybe… the economic policies of the Third Reich weren’t so bad.
Fat Cohost: Yeah I mean I don’t think that’s too unreasonable.
Crowder: Downright good in fact.
Nerd Cohost: Right but Hitler was still bad.
Fat Cohost: Hitler is terrible.
Crowder: No no of course I’m saying Hitler is bad, right. I’m just saying that someone could say that there could be a conversation to be had… as to whether or not Kanye was right when he said there were a lot of things to love about Hitler.
Nerd Cohost: Well I mean not really but you could say that on an economic basis –
Crowder: Right, one could be forgiven for making the argument that Adolf Hitler and the nazis did a lot of good things.
Fat Cohost: I mean in an economic sense you could –
Crowder: And were there a lot of secular humanists in the Weimar Republic with Jewish last names? Yeah, there were. Do I think there’s a conversation to be had there? Yes, I do.
Fat Cohost: *pause* I mean purely in an objective sense I guess someone could say that there might have been a lot of uh –
Crowder: Secular humanists.
Fat Cohost: Right, secular humanists.
Crowder: With Jewish last names.
Nerd Cohost: Well but that’s not true.
Crowder: Right I’m not saying that.
Nerd: Of course.
Crowder: I’m just saying that someone could make the argument. And if it were true by facts and logic that would be that.
Nerd Cohost: Well even if that were true we’re not saying that they did this because they were Jews.
Crowder: No, of course not.
Fat Cohost: Right right yeah.
Crowder: Everyone knows these were just secular humanists, who happened to have Jewish last names.
Nerd Cohost: Yeah of course. There –
Crowder: I think there might be conversation to be had, that Larry Fink is another of these secular humanists with Jewish last names.
Fat Cohost: No, I mean that’s a fair point.
Nerd Cohost: But we’re not saying that he’s doing what he’s doing because of his Jewish last name.
Crowder: No no no no no of course not. Of course not. I’m just saying that Kanye West isn’t entirely wrong, if you catch my drift.
Fat Cohost: Right. Sort of.
Crowder: I’m just getting really tired of all these secular humanists with dual citizenship to Israel. You pickin’ up what I’m puttin’ down?
Nerd Cohost: Well that’s just purely a coincidence though Steven.
Crowder: Of course it’s purely a coincidence. Just like it’s a pure coincidence that secular humanist Jonathan Greenblatt rushed to the aid of Ben Shapiro, a brave conservative colleague of ours who happens to have a Jewish last name.
Fat Cohost: Right, totally coincidentally.
Crowder: Damn these secular humanists with Jewish last names and beady little eyes all working together with our brave conservative compatriots who also have Jewish last names.
Nerd Cohost: Crowder I think we’re going a little –
Crowder: Look we’re reasonable men here, right? We can dispassionately discuss issues like grown adults, yes?
Fat Cohost: Sure.
Nerd Cohost: Uh I don’t –
Crowder: Like, it would be a horrible crime to murder every congressman in the capitol. Just line them up against a wall and start blasting, right?
Fat Cohost: Sure.
Nerd Cohost: That would be a terrible.
Crowder: Right, but would it be terrible? I mean – no don’t interrupt me – mass murder is bad, but in this case it would be serving a utilitarian purpose.
Fat Cohost: I mean the world would be a better place if they all disappeared somewhere.
Crowder: You could make the argument there. We could have a conversation about that.
Nerd Cohost: But not in the real world because you’d have to have a psychopath to actually kill them.
Crowder: Sure but if the ground came up and swallowed them all, the world would be a better place, yes? Like, if they all accidentally fell into a mass grave that I dug, with no one responsible, that would be better for the entire world, ignoring the morality of it.
Fat Cohost: Purely in a utilitarian sense, yes.
Nerd Cohost: But it would still be a tragic loss of human life and –
Crowder: Tragic loss of human life yeah yeah. But the point is that the world would be made a better place. So therefore, using facts and logic, we can conclude that if they were all shot in the head, the world would be a better place.
Fat Cohost: I guess you could make an argument for that.
Nerd Cohost: I don’t –
Crowder: Look, there’s a conversation that could take place here, about whether someone ought to take the thousands of pounds of the C4 I have in my truck down to the nations capital and show them all 50 states for their repeated refusal to do anything for the White Man. You know what I’m saying?
Nerd Cohost: Look Steven you’re taking it a bit too far here. I don’t think –
Crowder: I THINK YOU COULD MAKE AN ARGUMENT.
*At this point Crowder stands up and menaces over his nerd cohost until he shuts his mouth and stares at his feet.*
I think you could make the argument. *his voice is now eerily quiet* That the world would be a better place if all the secular humanists with Jewish last names were shoved into the ovens and turned into household products like lampshades, soap, and furniture sets.
*Long silence. Nerd Cohost visibly freaked out. *
Fat Cohost: Alongside all the other secular humanists who don’t have Jewish last names.
Crowder *voice uncannily snaps back to normal*: No right of course. Of course.
Nerd Cohost: I think we thought you meant just the ones with Jewish last names.
Crowder: No, of course not. Of course not. *laughs*
Fat Cohost: Oh right, yeah fuck the secular humanists.
Nerd Cohost: Yeah fuck ALL the secular humanists.
Crowder: I mean let’s be honest bros, the world would be a better place if the secular humanists were wiped off the face of the earth.
Fat Cohost: Hell yeah.
Nerd Cohost: Right, but not if you murdered them.
Crowder: No of course not – murder them? Who me? Steven Crowder? Go on a rampage and murder all the secular humanists that’s so ridiculous.
Fat Cohost: Yeah of course it is.
Crowder: But let’s admit that if all the secular humanists in the world were murdered the world would be a better place.
Fat Cohost: In a utilitarian sense.
Crowder: Yes, in a utilitarian sense the world would be a better place.
Nerd Cohost: I suppose… objectively that would be true.
Crowder: See! This guy gets it.
*They all start laughing and patting each other on the backs*
Crowder: We’re in agreement here, right? If someone murdered all the secular humanists – no I know – then the world would be a better place.
Fat Cohost: Yes, the world would be a better place, undoubtedly.
Nerd Cohost: Fine, yes. The world would be better. But I’m still not –
Crowder: Look at this guy finally coming around. *pats back.*
Nerd Cohost: I mean you had me going there for a –
Crowder (quiet voice activated): What if it was just the secular humanists with Jewish last names?
Fat Cohost: Uh I mean.
Crowder: Just. The. Secular. Humanists. With. Jewish. Last. Names.
Nerd Cohost: Steven this is starting to make me –
Crowder: Look, one could make the argument that, if all the secular humanists being murdered makes the world a better place, then therefore… are you guys following me here, therefore if just the secular humanists with Jewish last names who keep fucking everyone over in the conservative movement were murdered, then that would be a good thing.
Fat Cohost: Well. I can’t really say that’s logically –
Crowder: What if we made a bioweapon that could only target those particular secular humanists. I think there’s a conversation to be had here as to whether that should be done.
Fat Cohost: Well in a utilitarian sense you could make the argument for that. But Crowder I –
Crowder: What if this bioweapon already existed, and was named Steven Crowder?
Incredibly based and highly illegal. He went on to say, amongst other things, “one could be forgiven for calling Hitler a cuck for not gassing George Soros as a child,” and “I can see how someone might think that there is a conversation to be had for nuking Israel.”
I know, I know. It’s sickening. But this is just how Steven Crowder’s been for a while now. It’s always “look, there is an argument for,” and then something like slicing off the noses of feminists. Disgusting.