We’ve covered some of the drama WRT Musk’s purchase of twitter for $44B. It’s hard to know what’s going to come of this, what with multiple of our goys already getting censored again.
In fairness, he hasn’t had much time to change things, and the blue haired soyim are already committing e-seppuku.
But then again, those people are always whining about everything constantly. Just because some virulently anti-White groomers are complaining about something does not make it actually real. If that were the case, you could just vote Republican and they’d magically start doing something.
Musk himself is the definition of sending mixed signals with his tweets.
Because for every /ourgoy/ tweet he sends, he also sends cringey stuff like this.
I mean his timeline is just full of smol brained centrism stuff, and he makes sure to denounce the “far-right,” as often as possible.
The memes are fun, but it gets tiring fairly quickly. The guy is basically the political version of a cocktease.
Although I’m not going to pretend that the guy doesn’t have some high quality content interspersed with the “far right baaaad,” stuff. Luckily, we here at The Daily Rake don’t have to guess as to Elon’s motives, since he’s agreed to an interview with none other than recurring character Dr. Shekelstein.
The Notorious Dr. Shekelstein: You heard it here first goyim, Kendall Jenner is as committed as it gets to destroying the entire country of Mexico.
*Audience claps approvingly of KKK Kendall.
Shekelstein: But now we have a very special guest. It’s none other than Elon Musk of Nuke Mars notoriety.
*Camera pans from Shekelstein’s handsome Bavarian Phenotype face and to Elon Musk awkwardly walking out from backstage. Musk smiles and raises his hand to wave to the crowd before Shekelstein shakes his hand and they both sit back down.
Shekelstein: Mr. Musk, we never thought we’d get you on here.
ElonMusk: I honestly thought I’d never be here Dr. Shekelstein, but the Liberal Media has been driving me crazy recently.
Shekelstein: Must be that South African accent that makes jew sound like Liberal.
*Audience titters approvingly. Extremely tasteful and high class laughter reverberates throughout the room.
Elon Musk: You know, I can’t tell you how refreshing it is to see someone finally come out and just flat out name these hook nosed globalists.
Shekelstein: We don’t believe in beating around the bush here Mr. Musk.
Musk: And you can call me Elon, Dr. Shekelstein, it’s what my friends call me.
Shekelstein: Elon it is then. And if you don’t mind me getting right to the point, there has been plenty of speculation as to a political motive for your purchase of Twitter. You’ve made some statements indicating that yourself.
Elon: Oh there’s no doubt in my mind, it’s purely political.
Shekelstein: $44 billion is not exactly chump change. That’s quite the commitment you’ve made.
Elon: It was the only way I could take the company private again and get it out of the clutches of the international jew.
Shekelstein: Ladies and gentlemen put your hands together for Elon!
*Audience claps and cheers for Race Warrior Elon Musk.
Shekelstein: Now I don’t mean to pry Elon, because I support what you’re doing here, but typically men with your wealth are narcissistic shitbags who are fully on board with Schlomo’s Agenda.
Elon Musk: I think growing up in the nigger shithole that is South Africa gave me an entirely different perspective on life.
Shekelstein: Hard to insulate yourself from the harmful effects of “diversity,” there, isn’t it.
Elon Musk: When I see some propagandists talking about how “diversity is our strength,” I alternate between getting mad and turning my head to the side and giggling.
Shekelstein: Oh I think we all do Elon, but even still, most people aren’t willing to spend huge quantities of their wealth for their politics. What made you different?
Musk: As I left South Africa, my homeland, in a plane, I looked down at the shantytowns and favelas that these subhumans had made over my precious country. The areas that The White Man would have glorious civilization was instead filled with the hideous dens of the Negro Parasite.
Shekelstein: Those are fairly strong words Elon.
Musk: For an even stronger emotion. For when I looked down at them, scurrying about, I was filled with a deep and dark rage, the likes of which I had never felt before. It was then that I dedicated my life to a Warhammer 40k style exterminatus of that filth.
Shekelstein: Mr. Musk, if I may interject, that’s all well and good, but I’m not really sure what electric cars has to do with any of that.
Musk: The world is the way it is Dr. Shekelstein, and one man can only do so much. I needed to amass a fortune.
Shekelstein: Get money to get power.
Musk: Precisely, and what better way to get money than by bilking retarded shitlibs who think that electric cars are the future.
Shekelstein: I didn’t want to bring this up, but I honestly thought your cybertruck pitch was maybe the most retarded thing I had seen in years.
Musk: The Cybertruck?
*Musk turns his head to the side and laughs.
Musk: I was trying to get urbanite catladies, the kind who pretend that every blue collar working man with a truck doesn’t need one, to themselves buy a truck. I may have gotten a little carried away with the trolling though.
Shekelstein: Yeah I mean there was that thing with the windows that weren’t supposed to break.
*Musk reclines back in his chair and laughs harder this time. He’s almost out of breath as he responds.
Musk: The windows!
*Musk leans forward, head in hand, wheezing out laughter.
Musk: Those retarded windows!
Shekelstein: I’ll admit, we all got a good laugh out of that here on the show.
*Musk manages to mostly compose himself as he gets the last few laughs out.
Musk: Yeah but that wasn’t even the dumbest part of the show. Remember those African dancers I brought in to show off the truck?
Shekelstein: I recall something like that. Sadly we can’t find any footage of the event.
Musk: I did that as a humiliation ritual for all negrokind, but the shitlibs in the audience just thought that I wanted to have a bunch of African gay dancers.
*Musk shakes his head as he laughs.
Shekelstein: Elon, if you don’t mind, I’ve got a few more questions about some of your other projects.
Musk: Oh, here we go.
*Elon rolls his eyes as he clasps his hands together. The audience lets out a subtle gasp of pleasurable anticipation.
Shekelstein: This hyperloop stuff. That might be –
Musk: The dumbest thing you’ve ever heard of?
Shekelstein: You know Elon, I feel you may have stolen the words straight from my mouth.
Musk: Imagine combining the danger of spacetravel with the inconvenience of the subway system.
*Audience laughs heartily.
Shekelstein: I mean it’s literally slower than taking a flight, but with the security risks of the Moon Landing.
Musk: I honest to god have no idea how I managed to get these dipshit politicians to back the project. I was just trying to troll them, and accidentally showed that they have no understanding of physics and engineering. I even had a new version that skipped the levitation and just used rails. Rails! Making the entire vacuum tube part extra stupid, since you’d still have the rolling resistence.
Shekelstein: That was so dumb that I honestly thought you might have been trolling people. It’s like a parody of ideas-guy fake engineering.
Musk: It’s even dumber than that Shekelstein. Imagine the third worlders in California riding in and operating the system.
Shekelstein: That sounds like an absolute mess.
*Musk, Shekelstein, and the audience have a collective laugh at the brown filth of California operating space age technology that doesn’t even work.
Shekelstein: But Elon, about this whole Nuke Mars thing…
Musk: What, you didn’t like my half baked plan to use 3,000x more Uranium than currently exists to nuke mars for no apparent reason?
Shekelstein: I have to say, at the time it didn’t make much sense to me.
Musk: Well now that you know that I’m /ourgoy/ can you guess what I was going for?
Shekelstein: You were…
*Shekelstein’s face lights up as he gets it.
Shekelstein: Musk, you devious bastard you.
Musk: I swear to god, these retards were this close to giving me nuclear weapons.
*Shekelstein simply reclines back in his chair, thoroughly impressed with Musk’s genius. After a second or two he brings his hands together to start clapping. As the audience joins in, he stands up and begins to clap more vigorously. Like trained seals, the audience does the same.
Shekelstein *shouting over the crowd: Elon Musk everyone!
*Musk bathes in the idolatry of the crowd as he waves back to them. Some cheers are added to the cacophany of applause. Shekelstein sits down, a smile still on his face and, giving the audience a few more seconds, raises his hand gently to signal them to once again sit down.
Shekelstein: Mr. Musk, that’s all the time we have tonight. Is there anything you’d like to say to the audience.
*Elon shrugs his shoulders, his lips clasped together in mock befuddlement.
Musk: Kill niggers or die trying.
*The audience explodes in uproarious applause as they shoot up to give him a standing ovation like a collection of jack in the boxes. Shekelstein claps while remaining seated before shaking Musk’s hand. Then Musk gets up to leave, waving to the crowd as he walks backstage.
Shekelstein: That’s all for this week’s Daily Rapport. Tune in next week as Vince Vaughan explains what he meant when he said he wanted to nuke Israel.
*Camera pans out and over the crowd as the credits begin to roll.
Well there you have it. I wasn’t sold on Elon doing anything for us, but now that he’s explained that the whole “muh far-right,” bit is just a cover, we should start to expect big things from him. After all, he once smoked weed on Joe Rogan’s podcast.
So I mean that has to be worth something.