An executive with the plant-based food company Beyond Meat was has been suspended after he was arrested after biting a man’s nose in a parking garage in Arkansas on Saturday night. Read on to find out what happened next, how the company reacted, and why the scuffle isn’t Beyond Meat’s only headache these days. 

Is this what modern writing has been reduced to? I am aware that I am supposed to read the rest of the article if I want to find out what happens. Either the practice of not writing random gibberish as followup has fallen by the wayside at Yahoo News, in which case I have to ask why, or the people they hire to write articles are so sophomoric at best that they feel the need to build anticipation by reminding us that they aren’t just going to write about random things that aren’t related to the intro paragraph.

Fayetteville resident Doug Ramsey was arrested at 10:27 p.m. on Sept. 17 and charged with terroristic threatening and third-degree battery. A preliminary police report says the incident occurred at a parking garage near Razorback Stadium following the University of Arkansas’ victory over Missouri State, KNWA reported.  Just after 10 p.m., an officer was called to the stadium because of “a disturbance that had previously occurred in the Stadium Drive Parking Garage.” The responding officer found “two males with bloody faces” at the scene.

Now see that’s how it’s done. Start with “he bit his face off,” in the headline, and then say that the police officer found two men with bloody faces. The headline is so absurd that people might pass it off as clickbait. This reminds them that no, someone very rich and very politically connected did indeed eat another man’s nose this past Sunday.

The officer interviewed a witness and both men and reported that Ramsey was in the traffic lane of the parking garage on his way out, when a Subaru cut in front of Ramsey’s vehicle, striking a front tire. Ramsey got out of his vehicle and allegedly “punched through the back windshield of the Subaru,” the report said.

After that, the Subaru’s owner got out of his vehicle and the men got into a physical altercation.  The report indicates that Ramsey “pulled him in close and started punching his body,” then “bit the owner’s nose, ripping the flesh on the tip of the nose.”  Occupants of both vehicles got out and separated the men, the report said.

Occupants of both vehicles, eh? Who exactly were these other people who witnessed the nose-attack, before getting out and breaking it up. What exactly did they say to get the cockroach pusher to stop nibbling on the human nose and take a timeout for a while?

Doug Ramsey, COO Beyond Meat

This looks like a man who goes after what he wants, and if he’s dead set on eating that delicious nose on the end of your face then that’s pretty much all she wrote.

Ramsey was named the COO of Beyond Meat in December 2021. He had previously worked for Tyson Foods and was named president of global McDonald’s business in 2019. On Tuesday night, Beyond Meat suspended Ramsey, effective immediately. Ramsey is scheduled to appear in Fayetteville District Court on October 19.

“The news of his arrest after a University of Arkansas football game brought more scrutiny to the vegan food company, which has been struggling with disappointing sales and investor skepticism over its long-term growth prospects,” CNBC said. “The stock has fallen 75% this year, dragging its market down to $1.02 billion. Just three years ago, the company was valued at $13.4 billion.”

I wrote about Tufts University pushing this mystery meat bullshit before, even going so far as to claim that frosted flakes were healthier than eggs cooked in butter. I couldn’t find out if they were directly related to Beyond Meat, but untangling the web of universities/NGOs/Corporations is a full time job, and I’ll just go ahead and say that there’s probably some connection here. Whatever is going on, I’m happy that this bullshit, which exists to humiliate us, is failing.

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