It’s been three days now since the Candyman cometh. At the end of his victorious fight he made sure to call out breadtube fake socialist Hasan Piker in the callout heard round the World. Hasan, for his part, made sure to cry like a little bitch on air, but in a very stunning and brave way.

We start the video post-callout, with the human cockroach whining.

Hasan “Punch a Natzee” Piker: If you’re a sub, you’re not getting unbanned for [showing Hyde clip]. Look, if you have – if you see a mentally ill natzee, okay, on the internet be like ‘I’m gonna kill Hasan Piker, okay. I’m gonna come to his house and murder him,’ and you’re like ‘oh this is some information that he should probably watch, like, he should watch and address this, okay,’ then honestly, just don’t post. And get the fuck out of the community.

This, this is what true courage looks like. Everyone stand up and praise brave Hasan, the man who courageously ducked a fight with an almost 40 comedian with one professional bout to his name.

Shockingly, even censored twatter wasn’t having any of it.

I guess that’s what happens when your entire schtick is pretending to be the antifa tough guy, when you are in fact a pussy of the highest magnitude.

Months ago I talked about doing an expose of Breadtube, and I never really got around to it. Oh sure, I did some work on Hasan Piker before, but I never really had that burning desire to put it all together and take these people down.

Googling “Hasan Piker punch a nazi,” really hammered home why. The second and third results were his uncensored subreddit, where his trannissaries censored  not one, but two posts that I found where someone asked why he was so against punching the big bad natzee.

And it really made me realize that anyone who has a subreddit is just a complete faggot utterly unworthy of your time. These people don’t have any real power. Their audience consists of losers who really enjoy wasting 8 hours a day listening to them bloviate in the general direction of politics. Engaging with these people is not going to help anyone win a real election, or do any real politics that matters in the real world.

At this point it’s difficult to imagine doing anything other than pointing and laughing, and the video below takes this fag down better than I ever could.

 

There’s nothing to say about this little turd other than that he’s a totally astroturfed consumerist product who has been gifted his position as the biggest political streamer on Jeff Bezos’ Twitch, because he’s at best completely and utterly harmless to the agenda of actual rich people. 

 

A group of people he himself belongs to, despite his pretenses otherwise. The guy is such a clown that even koshervatives get to look smart and cool dunking on the guy when they do their whole “lol socialist buys $2.7 million house, pretends to be poor.” And if there’s one thing I can’t forgive someone for, it’s being such a clown that they make Ben Shapiro and Jordan Peterson look good.

But really, these people’s entire schtick is “fuck capitalism,” and yet they never get censored by the very same capitalists who censored us all three or more years ago. I mean, I know there’s a deeper critique to be made here, but I’m not sure that this little faggot deserves it. And the same goes for Vaush, Hunter Avallone, and all the other people whose names I forgot, or never knew in the first place. They don’t matter except online, and I have better things to do.

Sam Hyde on the other hand, has nothing better to do than head on over to Piker’s $2.7 million LA mansion and turn his skin into a coat. According to our sources, Sammy Hyde is on his way right now to Hasan Piker’s secret hideout, pictured above, where Piker has been cowering, living with the constant fear that, at any moment, the Candyman cometh. Hell, we even see video of him training for Le Epic Natzee Punching, just in case Sammy gets a little too close.

Hasan, trust me, just stop. Go out and buy a gun. Hell, go out and buy a private security team who all have guns. Posing as a tough guy on the internet suits you, actual combat sports, not so much. 

We know you’ve got the money for a security team. After all, we all saw it when you wrote “fuck capitalism,” on the side of your private jet.

Okay he didn’t really do that, but one day…

We’re not going to see Sam Hyde fight Hasan Piker. We’re not going to see Hasan Piker fight anyone. That’s because Hasan Piker is a pussy.

Say what you want about Andy Warski getting knocked out in 30 seconds, but at least he had the balls to get into the ring. It’s more than we can say for the entirety of the constantly online Breadtube e-boys, no matter how often they bray about “punching dem natzees.”

That’s kind of where I’m at with these breadtube fags. They’re not really good for much more than “lol, Vaush is a gross pedo,” or “fight me Hasan you pussy.” I think the age of even the pretense of important things happening online is long over.

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1 Comment

  1. Hasan seems to be in the same league as “tax the rich” AOC. Yeah, sure.

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